Uncanny Justice League
by The Uncanny R-Man
Summary: Chapter 22: A party with the Justice League and Justice League International takes a nasty turn when the heroes are possessed by the Seven Deadly Sins. Part of the Uncanny DC Universe.
1. A League At Christmas

**Uncanny Justice League**

**Chapter 1: A League at Christmas**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

_**Disclaimer- **I don't own anything, all familiar characters belong to DC._

* * *

**Smallville, Kansas-**

It was nearing Christmas in the small Kansas town and all of its occupants were preparing for the upcoming holidays. None more so than the Kents.

Clark was presently helping his parents decorate the house. Well, he was holding the boxes while Jonathan decorated and Martha looked on.

'Where do you want this one Ma?' Clark asked as he held out a shimmering red and green tree shaped ornament.

'Just put it on the mantle.' Martha replied. 'Between the two Santa candles.'

Clark did as he was told and returned to the box of decorations.

Unseen by the trio, Kara Kent tried to sneak in the back door to avoid putting up the decorations.

'And just where do you think you're going young lady?' Martha asked, not even looking away form the decorations. 'We still have lots of work to do.'

'D'oh!' Kara winced as she dumped her bag and went to help them.

* * *

**Later-**

The Kents had finally finished the decorating the living room and were sitting around the fire admiring their work.

'Mmm, the decorations certainly set the mood.' Kara said as she put her feet up on the coffee table.

Martha swatted her feet away and shot the blonde girl a kind-hearted glare.

'I don't know why you say that Kara, Jonathan, Clark and I did all the work.'

'Hey, observing is an integral part of decorating too y'know.' Kara replied.

'I hope you're not like this at work.' Jonathan gently teased. 'When Amazo or somebody like that attacks, I hope you don't leave everything to Clark and the others.'

'Of course she doesn't Pa.' Clark replied. 'She was an important part of out last battle with the Royal Flush Gang… She went to get the donuts afterwards.'

Kara just glared at her cousin, uncle and aunt as they burst into fits of laughter.

'No, seriously Kara, you're a valid member of the Justice League.' Clark said as he wiped a tear form his eye. We couldn't have beat the Royal Flush Gang without you.'

Kara just stuck her tongue out at Clark and hit him upside the head with a cushion.

* * *

**Central City-**

Wally West was strolling through the Central City Zoo along with his girlfriend Linda Park, his cousin Bart and his aunt Iris.

Wally stopped beside the gorilla exhibit and leant against a bench.

'I don't know why we couldn't just stay home.' He sniffed. 'There's a buncha cool stuff on TV.'

'Aww don't be such a party pooper sweetie.' Linda replied as she walked up beside Wally and placed her head on his shoulder. 'At least you got us for company.'

'I guess…' Wally replied nonchalantly. 'It's just that the zoo gets kinda boring after you fight mutated psychic gorillas every other week.'

'I you're good we could go home and make little baby gorillas of our own.' Linda whispered into Wally's ear.

'Eww!' Bart winced. 'Get a room you guys! That is just sick!'

Ignoring his younger cousin's comments, Wally visibly perked up at the idea of some private time with his girlfriend and promptly lifted her up into his arms.

'Sounds like a plan to me.' Wally said as a cheeky smile began to spread on his face. 'Wanna walk or shall we take the Flashmobile?'

'I think I'd like it better if we walked.' Linda replied. She remembered the first time Wally had showed her the so-called _'Flashmobile'_ It was a red van with lighting bolts painted along the sides with a sixties style shag pad inside.

Wally pouted slightly and went back to being bored.

* * *

**Star City-**

In a swanky apartment in Star City, two people were washing up after a romantic meal. One was a guy with blonde hair and a neatly trimmed beard while the other was a woman with long blonde hair. They were Oliver Queen and Dinah Lance, Green Arrow and Black Canary.

'Mmm, yet another successful meal if I do say so.' Ollie said as he laced his arms around Dinah's waist and pulled her close. 'You can never beat Green's family chilli recipe.'

Dinah swatted at Ollie's roving hands with a damp dishcloth.

'Oliver Queen, you stop that right now! These dishes aren't going to wash themselves.'

'And since when did you become Little Miss Housewife, huh?' Ollie teased as he tickled Dinah's ribs.

'Quiet you!' Dinah replied, as she got ready to whip Ollie with her dishcloth. 'I want to get this place tidy for Christmas.'

'Aww man, Christmas is so commercialised nowadays.' Ollie muttered. 'Hang on, I've got a better idea…'

Before Dinah could put up a hand to stop him, Ollie grabbed the top of her pants and pulled the straight down.

'Oh that's it Queen!' Dinah hissed. 'You are dead!'

'That's only if you catch me first babe!' Ollie taunted as he hotfooted it out of the kitchen with Dinah in hot pursuit.

* * *

**Wayne Manor, Gotham City-**

While everybody else was celebrating the upcoming festivities, Bruce Wayne was sitting alone in the Batcave. His fellow Justice Leaguers had plans. Clark was spending Christmas with his parent sin Smallville. J'onn had such a good time last Christmas that he decided to join the Kents again this year. Wally was spending Christmas with his family while Ollie and Dinah were spending Christmas together. John Stewart and Shayera were off in space, involved in some barroom brawl somewhere no doubt. Even Robin, Nightwing and Alfred had other plans. Tim was spending Christmas with his family while Dick was staying with Barbara and Alfred had a date with Dr Thompkins. The only person that Bruce knew that wasn't celebrating Christmas was Diana, on account of her Amazon heritage.

It wasn't that Bruce was lonely, he preferred being alone than being with a group of people. He tapped out a few coordinates into the computer to try and find out the whereabouts of the Joker and a few more Arkham escapees. His searches resulted in nothing; it seemed that even his rogue's gallery were staying in for the holidays.

Bruce was just about to give up and get ready for a night patrolling the streets when he heard footsteps approaching. He got a batarang ready just in case and followed the sound of footsteps.

As Bruce got closer, he caught a familiar scent on the breeze and smiled slightly.

'You can come out now Diana.' Bruce said as he put the batarang away.

'There really is no way to surprise you, is there?' Diana sighed.

'Not that I'm disappointed to see you but why exactly are you here?' Bruce asked. 'I thought you didn't celebrate Christmas.'

'I don't.' Diana replied simply. 'However, I was at a loss for something to do so I thought that I would come and see you.'

'You've seen me, now you can go.' Bruce said.

'I have mistletoe.' Diana said as she held out a sprig.

'Excuse me?' Bruce asked, somewhat curiously.

'Mistletoe.' Diana repeated. 'I'm not sure whether I have this right but I believe it is customary to kiss underneath it.'

'I really don't have the time…' Bruce said. 'I'm busy trying to find the Joker's whereabouts.'

'It won't take five minutes.' Diana said as she held her sprig above her head. 'Please?'

Bruce was about to turn away when he thought better of it, 'tis the season and everything. He leant in close and planted a quick kiss on Diana's lips.

'I don't know how you do it here but in Themyscira we kiss properly.' Diana said as she grabbed Bruce by the collar. Before he could even put up one hand to defend himself, she mashed his lips with hers.

Once they had finished, Diana broke away form the kiss and turned to leave.

'Merry Christmas Bruce…' She said as she turned to leave.

Bruce however, was left speechless as hewatched the Amazon walk out of the Batcave.

**TBC…**

* * *

**_Next: Fires of Passion _**

_While his fellow Leaguers investigate a spate of arson attacks all over the country, J'onn J'onns meets a woman that wishes to help him confront his fear of fire. Could they be somehow be linked? _


	2. Fires Of Passion

**Uncanny Justice League**

**Chapter 2: Fires Of Passion**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_I don't own anything, all familiar characters belong to DC._

**

* * *

Shout Outs-**

**Queen Peacock- **_Glad you liked the fluff, I seem to be getting good at fluffy stuff._

**Lilmisschaos- **_You can bet on seeing more from those couples in future chapters, along with some new ones._

**Agent-G- **_Sorry, not Volcana. The villainess in this chapter is from the comics. Think Trial By Fire. Crap, I totally forgot about Tim's dad being dead in the cartoon. Watch out for more brooding from Bats._

* * *

**A farmhouse somewhere in Virginia-**

In a darkened living room somewhere in Texas, a woman was watching television, the light from the screen illuminating the room. The Justice League was on the TV again, fighting Gorilla Grodd and yet another incarnation of the Secret Society. The woman paused the picture just as J'onn J'onns came on. She got up off her chair and kneeled down in front of the TV screen and stroked J'onn's image.

'Mmm, such a vision of beautiful manliness.' The woman purred. 'And you can bet that by the end of the day the Martian Manhunter will be mine. Oh yes, he shall be mine…'

**Meanwhile-**

Several miles away from the mysterious farmhouse, the Justice League was fighting a huge fire in a ranch. Wonder Woman, J'onn J'onns and Hawkgirl were keeping the civilians safe from the blaze while the Flash and Elongated Man rustled up the cattle.

'Yee-haw! Ride 'em dowgies!' Elongated Man bellowed as he stretched around the enclosure, preventing the cows from escaping.

'Now isn't the time for light-heartedness, Elongated Man.' Wonder Woman replied as she lassoed more cows together. 'We have to put out this blaze before somebody is killed.'

'GL's on it.' Flash replied as he zipped past carrying a distressed calf. 'I saw him head over towards the lake.'

Sure enough, Green Lantern soon appeared, his power ring conjuring a big green pitcher full of water and dumped the water onto the fire, soon extinguishing it.

'Well, that was exhilarating.' Hawkgirl said as she brushed off her hands. 'A little while longer and you would've had a roast Hawkgirl on your hands. And that would be a bad thing because my people are all muscle.'

'We got any idea how this fire started?' GL asked as he set foot on the ground. 'Was this a case of another discarded cigarette or arson?'

'I heard the cops talking and apparently this was the third such fire in as many weeks.' Flash replied.

'Something's definitely fishy here.' Elongated Man said. 'And I don't mean that pitcher of lake water GL just dumped on us.'

'We will have to solve this mystery at a later date.' Wonder Woman replied. 'I believe somebody wants to thank us.'

The ranch owner and his family ran up along with a few firemen and began to greet them profusely. Along with the others, J'onn nodded politely and made small talk but J'onn himself was rather distracted by the sight of a black-clad woman standing on the edge of the crowd. The woman noticed that J'onn was looking at her and quickly ran away.

'Excuse me for a moment.' J'onn said. 'I think I have found the arsonist.'

'You need any help there buddy?' Flash asked. 'We all know what you're like with fire.'

'Thank you but no.' J'onn replied. 'I should be able to tackle the arsonist myself.'

Flash just nodded and continued to sign autographs for the grateful public.

* * *

**Back at the mysterious farmhouse-**

J'onn tracked the alleged arsonist to a rustic looking farmhouse. It looked just the same as any other farmhouse, a white picket fence around the front yard, a large shadowy canopy along the front of the house, the usual.

Before stepping inside the house, J'onn gave the surrounding area a quick telepathic scan. It seemed safe enough so he cautiously phased through the door, scanning with his telepathy every few steps just to make sure that there was no danger of attack. The inside of the farmhouse was deceptively dark, even though it was the middle of the day.

'If you come out now, I do not wish to hurt you.' J'onn called out.

'That makes the two of us, Greenie.' A voice spurred from the darkness. 'You want some lemonade or something before to take me in?'

'I am afraid that I must decline.' J'onn replied. 'I wish to question you upon the identity of the arsonist that has struck this town in the past few weeks.'

'And you think it's me, right? Just because I ran away?'

'Fleeing form a crime scene does promote such reactions.' J'onn replied. 'I apologise if I jumped to conclusions.'

'Nah, s'cool. I was gonna walk up and ask you for an autograph but once you turned around and looked at me I kinda lost my nerve.'

'I'm afraid that my outward appearance is somewhat… unorthodox.' J'onn said.

'I think it's kinda handsome actually.' The woman replied.

That comment took J'onn by surprise; nobody had ever called him handsome before.

'That was most kind of you ma'am.' J'onn replied. 'But I still require to question you.'

'Question away cutie.' The woman said as she stepped out of the shadows. The mystery woman turned out to be a voluptuous redhead with slicked back hair cad in a slinky black cocktail dress.

'My name's Aubrey by the way.' The woman said as she held out her hand.

'J'onn J'onns.' J'onn replied as he took her hand and shook it. J'onn didn't really see why he shouldn't tell the woman his name; it wasn't like he had a secret identity or anything.

'Do you mind if I call you John?' Aubrey asked.

'Most people call me that anyway.' J'onn replied.

'Why don't you join me in the kitchen so we can talk?' Aubrey asked. 'I have cookies.'

That was the clincher for J'onn, ever since arriving on Earth; he had developed a near addiction to cookies, especially Oreos.

'I suppose that one or two will not hurt.' J'onn replied, smiling slightly.

Aubrey smiled back at J'onn and led him into the kitchen. What J'onn didn't see was Aubrey's smile grow into an evil one and her eyes take on a yellow glow.

* * *

**Several boxes of Oreos later-**

J'onn had finished his talk with Aubrey and had joined the rest of the Leaguers back in the Watchtower. They were all sat around the meeting table with Batman holding court.

'So J'onn, you catch that arsonist?' Flash asked.

'It appears that my initial reaction was somewhat hasty.' J'onn replied. 'She merely wished for an autograph.'

'Oh right, and when the time came she chickened out, right?' Elongated Man nodded. 'That's happened to me so many times before, fangirls wanting a signed autograph or something and chickening out, it's my musky odour of masculinity, I just know it.'

'You certainly have a musky odour of something.' Hawkgirl snorted. 'But it's not masculinity.'

'Dies anybody have any leads on this string of arson attacks?' Batman asked, trying to steer the conversation back to something important.

'Only that they all happened in the same small town in Virginia.' Green Lantern replied. 'Other than that, squat!'

'I hope that this is not out of place but I'm afraid I will not be able to make monitor duty tomorrow.' J'onn piped up. 'I have a date.'

The assembled Leaguers, including Batman, all gaped at the Martian in amazement.

The Flash was the first to speak up as he patted J'onn on the back.

'Way to go man, you're finally getting yourself out there! Who is it? I bet she's a hottie!'

'Her name is Aubrey.' J'onn replied. 'I met her after we fought that fire earlier today.'

'It's that chick you thought was the arsonist, isn't it?' Elongated Man asked. 'You alien guys sure don't mess about do you?'

J'onn just smiled to himself at the thought of his date with Aubrey.

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: Firestarter**

_J'onn goes on his date with Aubrey while the rest of the Leaguers try to find out who started all the fires in Virginia._

* * *

**Notes-**

_Hopefully, those of you that have read the 'Trial By Fire' story arc from the JLA comics will know who Aubrey really is. If you do, please don't give it away as some readers may not know. Thank you._


	3. Firestarter

**Uncanny Justice League**

**Chapter 3: Firestarter**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_I don't own anything, all familiar characters belong to DC._

* * *

**Shout Outs-**

**Queen Peacock- **_Don't worry, there will be plenty of Bats/Wondy fluff soon._

**Morring star- **_If by the demon you mean Etrigran then, no that isn't who I was talking about._

**Reikson-** _Yup, that's the one. Well done._

**Agent-G- **_You wouldn't be far off by comparing Elongated Man to Plastic Man as their powers are pretty similar. Think Mr Fantastic and you won't go far wrong._

* * *

**The Batcave-**

Bruce Wayne was in his usual place, searching through the Batcave's computers for information about the mystery arsonist that had been plaguing Virginia. So far his search had been pretty fruitless, the Justice League database was surprisingly light on regular non-powered arsonists, let alone metahumans arsonists. Bruce had initially thought that Firefly was behind the attacks but that idea was soon dismissed as he was locked away in Arkham when the attacks were taking place.

One thing that annoyed Bruce was the fact that the attacks hardly had any eyewitness reports and those that it did have were mostly full of sketchy information and hearsay.

Bruce leant back in his chair, removed his cowl and rubbed his eyes, he would rather be scouting the streets for information instead of sitting on his butt in front of a computer screen but Nightwing, Batgirl and Robin were already out there, lending a helping hand.

Bruce's musings were cut short as Alfred's vice called through the intercom.

'Master Bruce, you have a guest.'

'I'm rather busy Alfred.' Bruce replied.

There was a brief whispered conversation as Alfred made way for the guest to speak.

'Too busy for a friend?' Diana asked. 'Come now Bruce, surely the search for information will go quicker if you had somebody to help you.'

A narrow smile spread across Bruce's lips, as much a she'd hate to admit it, he was happy to hear Diana's voice.

Diana's soft footsteps could be heard coming down the steps from the mansion as she entered the Batcave.

'Nothing yet?' She asked.

'The Justice League database is surprisingly light on arsonists.' Bruce replied.

Diana walked over to the computer and leant over Bruce's shoulder. Bruce meanwhile, tried to ignore Diana's closeness, combined with the scent of coconut oil and strawberries. It was enough to drive normal mortals mad.

'Hmm, that woman looks familiar.' Diana said as she pointed to a plain-looking woman on the screen.

Bruce enlarged the picture on the screen.

'That's the woman J'onn is dating.' Bruce said. 'Dammit, I knew I recognised her from somewhere.'

Diana cocked a curious brow as Bruce pulled up his cowl and made his way to the teleporter.

'I don't recognise her.' Diana said. 'Care to enlighten me?'

'The woman's name is Aubrey Jackson.' Bruce replied. 'She used to own an occult bookstore in Virginia. During one of his rampages, the Joker stole a synthetic napalm sample and attacked Ms Jackson with it. Initial reports said that there were no unusual after-affects…'

'But now we know different.' Diana nodded. 'That chemical must have given her fire-related powers.'

'Pyrokinesis.' Bruce replied. 'She can start fires with her mind.'

'Then J'onn is in danger.' Diana said. 'We must alert the others!'

* * *

**Meanwhile, in Virginia-**

J'onn J'onzz, aka the Martian Manhunter, was strolling through the streets of Virginia with Aubrey, unaware of her true identity. J'onn, of course, was in his human guise of an adult male with short brown hair and large cheekbones.

'Mmm, it's been a wonderful night, J'onn.' Aubrey murmured as she laced her hand with J'onn's and laid her head on her shoulder. 'It's the best fun I've had in ages.'

'I am glad you enjoyed the night.' J'onn replied as a smile spread across his face. 'I enjoyed it too.'

Aubrey stopped beside a nearby café.

'Wanna stop by for a coffee?' Aubrey asked.

'I do not see why not.' J'onn replied as he let Aubrey lead him inside.

'J'onn, stop!'

'What the Hell?' Aubrey hissed as she turned around to see who was shouting at her.

'I'm only going to warn you once, Scorch.' Batman said as he stood before her with Wonder Woman, the Flash, Green Lantern and Hawkgirl. 'Give up before we have to get physical.'

'What's going on here?' J'onn asked, having no idea why his fellow Leaguers were there.

'Your girlfriend isn't all she seems.' Flash replied. 'She's really a pyromaniac demon!'

'Aww dammit!' Aubrey growled. 'I tried to have a little fun and you damn heroes go and screw it up!'

Aubrey then changed her human form into that of Scorch, a red-skinned demon, complete with spade-tipped tail.

'Yeah, what if I do like starting fires?' Aubrey asked. 'It's not like it's illegal!'

'Actually, it is.' Hawkgirl replied.

'I know that, you idiot!' Scorch said. 'I was being sarcastic!'

'Aubrey please, this isn't the way.' J'onn said as he tried to clam her down.

'Oh get lost!' Aubrey hissed as she turned on J'onn.

J'onn leapt back as the ground below him burst into flames.

'I guess that means that there's no chance of peaceful negotiations.' Green Lantern sighed as he tried to grab Scorch with a giant claw form his power ring. Scorch was ready for this however and sent up a burst of flame at the ring-wielding hero, disrupting his concentration and sending him spiralling away.

'You're going to pay for that, dammit!' Hawkgirl yelled as she flew towards Scorch brandishing her mace. Scorch was ready for her as well and set her wings on fire. Hawkgirl screamed in pain and fell to the ground.

The Flash was the next one to try his luck against Scorch as he zipped around the demon, creating a whirlwind to extinguish the fires.

'It'll take a lot more than that to beat me.' Scorch said as she spread her arms wide.

The Flash was knocked off his feet as a nearby car exploded in a burst of flames.

Scorch laughed at the chaos she had caused, not realising that Wonder Woman was behind her. Wonder Woman grabbed the demon with her golden lasso.

'Give up now, nothing can destroy my golden lasso!'

'Who said I'm gonna destroy it?' Scorch snickered.

Wonder Woman's eyes widened in fear as she was engulfed in a burst of flame.

'Diana, no!' Batman yelled as he rushed to his fallen comrade's side. He quickly removed his cape and threw it around her, trying to extinguish the fire around her body.

'Aww, it looks like the Dark Knight's got a soft spot for the Amazon.' Scorch snickered. 'How about I make you join her?'

Scorch raised her hands and was about to set Batman on fire when…

'No more…'

'What now?' Scorch sighed as she turned to see who was disturbing her fun. It as J'onn, he had dropped his human disguise and reverted back to his usual Martian guise.

'I am sorry that I must do this.' J'onn said as he touched his hand against Scorch's head.

Scorch gave out a grunt and then collapsed to the floor.

'Geez, what did you do to her?' Flash asked as he rubbed his burnt leg.

'I shut down her mind.' J'onn replied. 'I could not stand by and watch her hurt my friends.'

'Well I guess that means that your date's over.' Green Lantern said as he helped Hawkgirl to her feet.

'How's Wonder Woman?' Hawkgirl asked. 'She got burned pretty bad.'

'She'll live.' Batman replied as he carefully lifted Wonder Woman to her feet. 'She's unconscious but with enough time, she'll be fine.'

'Kind puts you off dating a while, doesn't it?' Flash asked as he patted J'onn on the back. 'Y'know, the whole getting set on fire thing and all…'

'I do not think I will try dating again any time soon.' J'onn replied. 'However, if my next date is anything like this one, my next date may just be Poison Ivy.'

'You say that like it's a bad thing.' Flash smirked.

Batman shot the Scarlet Speedster with a glare at the mention of one of his deadliest rogues.

'What?' Flash asked innocently. 'You can't seriously tell me that you haven't even thought what kind of date she'd be. C'mon people, work with me here…'

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: Encantadora**

_Superman investigates rumours of a woman auctioning off a stash of Kryptonite to super-villains around the worldwhile Batman helps Wonder Woman recuperate back at Wayne Manor._


	4. Encantadora

**Uncanny Justice League**

**Chapter 4: Encantadora**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to DC._

* * *

**Shout Outs-**

**Queen Peacock- **_Don't worry, there will be Bats/Wondy fluff coming up soon._

**Agent-G- **_J'onn didn't know that Aubrey liked fire when he was dating her; it wasn't like she announced the fact._

* * *

**Metropolis-**

It was an unusually slow day for crimefighting in Metropolis. That didn't stop one supervillain from trying his luck. One such villain was Captain Cold, arch-nemesis of the Flash, or so he'd like to think so. He was standing atop one of Metropolis's many skyscrapers stood beside a large 'S' symbol made out of ice with a box in his hands.

'Today everything changes. Today, respect! Today, power! Today… **METROPOLIS IS MINE!**_'_ Captain Cold boasted to nobody in particular. 'I wish all those pathetic rogues could see me now, I am finally going to do what none of them could ever do, kill Sup…'

Captain Cold's ranting was cut short as a red, yellow and blue blur zipped past and shattered his ice construct.

'Central City is quite a while away, Cold.' Superman said as he hovered in front of the Rogue. 'Now give up quickly, I have more urgent things to see to, cats stuck up trees, what have you…'

'Crack wise while you can, Man of Steel, for today will be your last.' Captain Cold replied. 'Behold your only weakness… **KRYPTONITE!**_'_

Captain Cold yanked open the box to reveal a glowing shard of the planet Krypton.

**'BWAHAHAHAHAHAAA!'** Captain Cold laughed maniacally. Superman wasn't affected by the Kryptonite however. Captain Cold noticed this and his laughter began to fizzle out. 'Hah… Heh… Hee… Ho? Not the face…'

Superman just blinked a few times and crossed his arms.

Captain Cold just slumped down on to a nearby ledge with a defeated sigh.

'I don't understand. Today was supposed to be the day that I killed Superman, it just isn't fair…'

'If it's any consolation, you're 'The Man Who Really Annoyed Superman.' Superman replied. 'But kill me? You'll need more than a rock sprayed with phosphorescent paint in a box.'

Captain Cold's expression of defeat soon turned to one of anger.

'The witch! She promised me that this was the real deal! How dare she con the Mighty Captain Cold?'

'What in Krypton's name are you talking about…?'

'Superman, prepare to die!' A voice bellowed.

Superman turned to see who shouted the challenge. It was the Royal Flush Gang.

'Oh for crying out loud…' Superman groaned.

* * *

**Wayne Manor-**

Wonder Woman was still recuperating from her ordeal at the hands of Scorch. Diana had pretty much healed up but there were still noticeable scars all over her body. Batman had been surprisingly caring for her, changing the dressings on her wounds and getting her refreshments whenever she wanted them. He was still sat by her bedside keeping watch Diana sleep.

Diana's eyes fluttered open and she smiled at the sight of Bruce Wayne sitting beside her bed.

'Not that I don't appreciate you sitting her all the time but you really should get some sleep yourself.' Diana said. 'People will start to talk.'

'Let them.' Bruce replied simply.

Diana struggled to sit up.

'Am I hearing this correctly? Bruce Wayne inviting gossip?' Diana teased.

'I'm used to the gossip.' Bruce replied. 'I just wanted to make sure that you heal.'

Diana cocked a curious brow; there was something more to this than helping a friend heal.

'Are you sure that's all there is to this?' She asked.

The next thing that Diana saw startled her, Bruce's momentarily drooped his usually stoic façade and let a flash of emotion seep through.

'Diana, I was worried.' Bruce said. 'When Scorch set you alight like that…'

'It's alright, Bruce.' Diana said as she placed her hand on top of his. 'We Amazons are a hardy bunch.'

Bruce gently squeezed Diana's scarred hand.

'Diana, I have never felt like this about somebody before…'

Diana's eyes widened in surprise, it almost seemed as he was about confess his feelings…

'Diana I…'

Unfortunately, Bruce was cut off as his Justice League communicator went off.

_'Bats, you there?'_ The Flash asked. _'We got us some trouble with Grodd and his cronies. You wanna lend us a hand?'_

'Saved by the beeper, hmm?' Diana quipped.

Bruce got up and was about to apologise when Diana put her finger on his lips, preventing him from doing so.

'Just go…' She said.

Bruce did as he was told and went to see what was what…

* * *

**Hong Kong-**

Bruce Wayne was reporting on the opening of a new hi-tech museum in Hong Kong when it was rudely interrupted by Killer Croc.

'This isn't my day.' Clark sighed as he zipped away to get suited up.

'Superman, where are you?' Croc bellowed. 'I'm callin' you out Supes! Get yer yellow-belly out here!'

Croc then pulled out a box, identical to the one that Captain Cold had earlier.

'I'm gonna kill ya Supes!' Croc yelled. 'I got the Kryptonite to do it!'

'I think you've been conned, Croc.' Superman replied. 'Give up before I have to get nasty.'

'I'll show you nasty!' Croc bellowed as he threw the kryptonite at Superman. The fake rock just bounced harmlessly off his head. 'Oh crap…'

Superman slugged Croc on the chin, sending him falling into the nearby river.

Just as he tried to drag Croc out, a strange mist started to form around them.

'What in Krypton's name?'

Superman turned around as he heard applause.

'Well done, Super-Novio. I love a man who knows how to use his hands… creatively.' A feminine voice purred. 'Though I think it would be better if you used them on me, La Encantadora has been a bad, bad girl.'

Superman watched dumbstruck as a voluptuous figure stepped out of the mist. A brunette, tanned voluptuous figure dressed in a _very_ low-cut leather catsuit.

'A-are you the one that's been causing… trouble?' Superman asked as Encantadora sidled up to him.

'Oh this is nothing.' Encantadora replied as she stroked Superman's chest. 'If it's trouble you want, why not take a peek with that X-Ray vision of yours? This dress isn't lead you know…'

'W-what?' Superman sputtered. 'I'd never…

'Oh I think you would.' Encantadora purred.

Superman's face fell serious.

'Look, Encantadora…'

'Dora, please…'

'Whoever you are, this fake Kryptonite racket that you're running is dangerous. People are getting hurt…'

'Racket?' Encantadora snorted. 'I'm no con artist, merely a businesswoman selling quality goods at a reasonable price. Perhaps you'd like to inspect my goodie bags?'

Superman didn't flinched as Encantadora opened the box.

'I won't be fooled again, that Kryptonite is fake. That box isn't even…'

Superman couldn't even finish his sentence as he felt pain shoot through his body and his head started to feel heavy.

'There's one thing you should learn about me, cutie, everything about me is real including this rock.'

Encantadora then turned to the assembled press.

'Take a good look all you baddie out there, see how Big Blue shrinks? The bidding will start at Ten million. Meet me in Tijuana in one hour. Those of you in the know will know where…'

And with that, Encantadora disappeared back into the mist…

**

* * *

Tijuana, little over an hour later-**

Encantadora reclined on a satin sofa as she scanned the prospective buyers in the warehouse that she had chosen for the meeting. The Riddler was there, as were the Ultra-Humanite and Dr Light.

'Riddle me this, 'Dora…' The Riddler said. 'How many dead Presidents does it take to kill a god? How 'bout eleven million of them?'

'Bah, the Almighty Dr Light bids thirteen million!'

'You two are far too stupid to realise the potential of this Kryptonite.' The Ultra-Humanite snorted. 'I bid twenty million!'

Encantadora just giggled in glee.

'Now, now boys, why can't we just sit down and discuss this like… consenting adults?'

The auction was cut short however as Superman burst in through the ceiling and knocked Encantadora to the ground.

'This is over, Encantadora!' Superman said as he snatched the box containing the Kryptonite away form her and threw it out of the hole he creating after smashing his way inside.

'How did you find me?' Encantadora asked. 'Scan every building in Tijuana in seconds?'

'The Riddler parked a yellow and purple van outside.' Superman replied. 'A flashing neon sign would have been more subtle.'

'Tut tut, sweetie.' Encantadora purred. 'You break it, you buy it. That includes throwing the merchandise into space. And seeing that I'm hoping that you will become a repeat customer, I will let you have it for a kiss…'

Superman began to feel weak once more as Encantadora was surrounding by that mysterious mist.

'Y-your choker… _Kaff_…'

'Oh this old thing?' Encantadora shrugged. 'It's just a family heirloom…'

Superman was wracked with sobs as he fell to his knees.

Seeing the Man of Steel in this weakened state, the Riddler was the first one to leap in to attack.

'One pain in the neck deserves anoth…'

There was a nasty-sounding crack as the Riddler chopped Superman in the neck, and broke his hands for his trouble.

'Ow, ow, ow…' The Joker winced. 'When is a criminal genius like a run-down clock? When he has broken hands… Heh-heh… Oh God…'

Superman just looked around in confusion.

'H-how? I'm still invulnerable? But the pain…'

'Well I'd ay that concludes our transaction gentlemen.' Encantadora said as she gathered up the cash. 'Toodles…'

Once again, Encantadora disappeared into the mist.

Superman then turned to the trio of villains.

'Riddle me this, boys… What can volleyball players spike at a party but need a glass to carry?'

'Uh… Punch?' The Riddler asked.

An evil smile spread across Superman's face.

'Don't mind if I do…'

And this is how the day went, Superman chasing Encantadora around the world selling fake Kryptonite to supervillains. Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn in San Francisco, Killer Frost in New York, the Mad Hatter in Berlin, Cheetah in Miami, Mr Freeze in the Alaska and the Shade in Egypt.

**

* * *

La Plaza De San Miguel; Gijon, Northern Spain-**

Encantadora was reclining on a bench in the park waiting for her latest buyer. She was starting to get bored, the buyer was late.

'Why so glum? Nobody to play with?'

Encantadora spun around to see Superman hovering behind her with the villains that she had screwed over, Captain Cold, the royal Flush Gang, Killer Croc, the whole lot.

'Don't worry.' Superman said. 'I've brought friends…'

'Y-you tricked me!' Encantadora said. 'You conned me at my own game!'

'Well if you can't beat them, join them.' Superman replied.

'My, my, is that the time?' Encantadora asked as she backed away. 'I have to go… wash my house…'

However, before Encantadora could use her magical choker to disappear into the mist again, a red, yellow and blue blur ripped it from her neck.

'A hologram…' Superman said as the image of him and the assembled villains began to fade away. 'Game over, 'Dora. I'm going to have to take you in.'

Encantadora sighed reluctantly.

'Oh well, I know when I'm beaten. What are you going to do with me now?'

'It's not as exotic as you might think.' Superman replied. 'But handcuffs will be involved…'

'I'd just like to do one more thing…' Encantadora said. Then, much to Superman's surprise, she launched herself at him and mashed his mouth with hers.

'Mmm, vanilla, I like…' Encantadora purred as she licked her lips.

'Why-why did you do that?' Superman asked, rather confused.

'I told you that I would give you the Kryptonite for a kiss.' Encantadora replied. 'I have never lied to real men. And you are the most real I have ever met…'

'Umm, thank… I guess.' Superman said as he lifted her off the ground and carried her to the nearest jail. 'I am spoken for you know…'

'Some women have all the fun.' Encantadora sighed.

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: The Bat and the Amazon**

_More fluffiness with Bats and Wondy. Will Bruce ever pluck up the courage to tell Diana how he feels? Meh, most probably…_


	5. The Bat and the Amazon

**Uncanny Justice League**

**Chapter 5: The Bat and the Amazon**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to DC._

* * *

**Shout Outs-**

**ButterflyV- **_Glad you liked this, fluff with Bruce and Diana coming up._

**Goblyn-Queen- **_Glad you liked, impending fluff coming right this way._

**Queen Peacock- **_This chapter is indeed BWWW fluff. Enjoy!_

* * *

**Justice League Watchtower-**

It was Wonder Woman's turn for monitor duty and she was reclined in the monitor room observing her fellow Justice Leaguers at work on the planet below. J'onn, Hawkgirl, Green Lantern, Zatanna and Flash were fighting Solomon Grundy and Giganta in New Orleans while Superman, Green Arrow, Supergirl, Big Barda and Huntress dealt with Star Sapphire and Killer Frost in Tokyo.

All in all, it was quite a boring day for the Princess of the Amazons. Although all of her major burns from the fight with Scorch were healed, she hadn't been on a mission with her teammates since. Then there was the incident in Wayne Manor when Bruce seemed to be on the verge of telling her his true feelings. What would have happened if Bruce's Justice League communicator hadn't have gone of at that precise moment? They would most probably be in the same situation they are now with Diana sitting in the monitor womb while Bruce saw to business in Gotham with Nightwing and Batgirl.

Diana sighed in resignation and called Bruce on his communicator.

'Batman, how is everything in Gotham?'

There was the sound of an annoyed grunt as Bruce picked up his communicator.

'Well the team-up between Two-Face and Scarecrow was a short one.' Batman said.

'I'll say.' Nightwing snorted. 'They were at each other's throats more than they were at ours.'

'Pff, you men.' Batgirl scoffed. 'Talk about looking a gift horse in the mouth. Hey, what about treating me to dinner?'

'Can we please get to the task at hand?' Batman asked. 'I'm trying to report in.'

'Batman and Wondy up a tree.' Nightwing teased. 'K-I-S-S-I-N-G.'

Batman just glared at his former protégé and continued debriefing Wonder Woman.

'The police should be here soon; we'd better get going. I'll tell you the details later, okay?'

'There's a coffee already waiting.' Wonder Woman replied. 'Black and no sugar, right?'

'What would I do without you?' Batman asked.

'Go without coffee presumably.' Wonder Woman chuckled as she broke communication.

* * *

**Later-**

Batman and Wonder Woman were now sat in the kitchen chatting over coffee. Wonder Woman even had a jelly-filled donut with it.

'I hope Flash knows that you're eating his donuts.' Batman said.

'These are his donuts?' Wonder Woman asked as she wiped frosting from her lips. 'Oh…'

'I'm sure that he won't miss one.' Batman said.

As if in reply, the Scarlet Speedster sped in and picked up the now-empty donut box.

'Okay, which one of you has eaten all my donuts?' Flash asked, casting an accusatory glare towards them both.

Diana sheepishly held up her hand sheepishly.

'Umm, I think it was me…'

'No decency nowadays…' Flash muttered as he dumped the empty donut box in the garbage.

Wonder Woman cocked a curious brow as Flash slunk out of the kitchen.

'I never knew he was so protective over his food.'

'We all have to be protective over something, I guess.' Batman shrugged.

Diana just chuckled at that and pulled up a chair. She sat down with a hiss and placed a hand on her side.

'Diana, are you okay?' Batman asked concernedly, offering his hand.

'I'm all right.' Diana replied, dismissing Batman's hand. 'I'm just a little tender.'

'Perhaps you had better get some rest.' Batman said. 'You still need time to heal.'

'I'm fine.' Wonder Woman sniffed. 'I've had worse.'

'Such as?' Batman asked.

Wonder Woman just ignored that and stood up from the table.

'Where are you going?' Batman asked.

'I don't see what business it is of yours.' Wonder Woman sniffed. 'You're not my mother.'

Batman had to do something before Wonder Woman left the room.

'Diana, I have to tell you something…'

Wonder Woman turned to look at the Caped Crusader with a curious glare.

'And that would be…?'

Batman got up form his seat and took Diana's hand in his.

'What I was trying to tell you in the mansion…'

Wonder Woman cocked a curious brow as the usually stoic Dark Knight began to falter.

'It all started on Christmas Eve, when you came to the Cave and kissed me. I haven't been able to stop thinking about you Diana. What I'm trying to say is…'

'Aww for crying out loud, just tell her you idiot!' A voice said from outside.

'Kara!' Another voice hissed. 'Now you've gone and blown our cover.'

The door to the kitchen swished open to reveal Supergirl, Zatanna and Big Barda snooping on them.

'Umm, it isn't what it looks like…' Supergirl said. 'See, it's like this…'

Zatanna decided to save Supergirl form any further embarrassment and pulled her to one side.

'Let's go now Kara, I think Booster wants to tell you something…'

'Ooh, what's that?' Supergirl asked.

'He wants to tell you to shut up and not blow our cover!' Zatanna hissed as she dragged the young Kryptonian away.

That just left Barda on her own.

The former Female Fury's mouth opened and closed as she tried to find something to say. She decided to give up the ghost and just stormed off.

'Well, that was unforeseen.' Wonder Woman chuckled. 'Now I believe you were going to say something…'

'Perhaps over dinner.' Batman replied. 'Gotham Plaza, eight o' clock.'

Wonder Woman just blinked in confusion, she didn't see that coming.

'O-okay. I'll see you later…'

Batman nodded in reply and left the room. Then Superman walked in.

'Is it me or does Bruce seem… happy?' The Man of Steel asked.

'It's not you.' Wonder Woman replied.

'Care to tell me why he's so chipper?' Superman asked as he brewed himself some coffee.

'Ask no questions and I shall tell you no lies.' Wonder Woman replied coyly.

'Suit yourself.' Superman shrugged. 'Whatever you two get up to in your spare time is your business.'

Superman tried to some coffee in to his mug but found his hands shaking. Add to that and his body was wracked with a fit of coughs.

'Are you alright, Clark?' Wonder Woman asked as she put her hand on his shoulder.

'It's nothing.' Superman coughed. 'I'm fine…'

'But you were coughing, you never cough.'

'I'm sure it's nothing.' Superman replied, wiping some spittle from his mouth. 'I'd better go, I'm taking Lois out tonight.'

'Have a good night.' Wonder Woman nodded as Superman left the room.

Unseen by the Amazon, Superman clutched the wall as he was wracked with another fit of coughs. This time, when he wiped his chin, he saw blood on his hand.

'I'm sure it's nothing…' Superman muttered to himself, trying to reassure himself.

* * *

**Gotham Plaza, later still-**

Diana was sat in one of the most exclusive restaurants in Gotham City opposite one of the city's most eligible bachelors, Bruce Wayne.

'Well you certainly bring me to the most wonderful places, Bruce.' Diana said as she wiped her mouth with her napkin. 'I must recommend this place to the others.'

'Diana, about earlier…' Bruce said. 'What I was about to say…'

A small smile spread on Diana's face and placed her hand on top of Bruce's.

'It's all right, Bruce.' She said. 'I think I know what you're going to say.'

'If it's okay with you, I'd like to say it myself.' Bruce said.

'If that's how you feel.' Diana nodded.

Bruce took a deep breath before continuing.

'Diana… I love you. There, I said it…'

The smile on Diana's face just grew bigger.

'There, that wasn't so hard, was it?' She asked.

'I think I'd rather go one-on-one with Darkseid.' Bruce sighed.

'Now there's an image that I wouldn't like to repeat.' Diana winced.

'I didn't mean it like that.' Bruce replied.

'It was a joke Bruce.' Diana teased. 'You should try it once in a while.'

'Oh I don't know about that.' Bruce teased back. 'It might ruin my reputation.'

Diana just laughed at that and gently squeezed Bruce's hand.

Bruce smiled in return and gently stroked Diana's cheek.

Diana bit her lip nervously as they both leaned closer and brushed their lips together. The kiss wasn't to last however as somebody's Justice League beeper went off.

'Oh for Hera's sake.' Diana groaned.

* * *

**Justice League Watchtower-**

Bruce and Diana were back in their 'work clothes' and were being briefed about a new mission that had popped up.

'The computer just picked up some signs of a new Injustice Society making trouble in London.' Superman explained.

'Some people have no decency.' Wonder Woman sighed.

Superman continued with the briefing.

'Reports so far make it seem as if they are trying to steal the Crown Jewels. It may seek a little out of character for them but…. Cough… Some people would do anything for a quick… Cough-Cough… Buck.'

'Clark, are you all right?' Bruce asked.

'I-I'm fine… Cough… Bruce.' Superman replied. 'Nothing to… Cough-Cough-Cough… worry about.'

'We need to get you to the med bay.' Batman said, putting his hand on Superman's shoulder. 'We need to find out what's wrong with you.'

'No, I'm fine…' Superman wheezed. 'There's nothing wrong with m…'

Superman gave one final wheezing cough and collapsed forwards, knocking several chairs over.

'Clark!' Wonder Woman gasped. 'Clark, speak to me!'

Batman knelt beside the fallen Man of Steel and tried to find his pulse.

Wonder Woman looked at Batman, her face filled with concern.

'Is he…?'

'He's dead.' Batman said, barely believing his ears. 'Superman is dead…'

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next- Fantastic Journey**

_What is up with Superman? Wonder Woman, Supergirl, Booster Gold and Blue Beetle try to find out as they take a miniature journey through the Man of Steel's body while Batman meets with an old villain who may know what it up with him. And what if somebody wants to keep said villain quiet? Who do they call? Slade!_


	6. Fantastic Journey: Part 1

**Uncanny Justice League**

**Chapter 6: Fantastic Journey- Part 1**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to DC._

**

* * *

Shout Outs-**

**Oneredneckgoddess- **_Don't worry, Superman will get better. Or will he?_

**Goblyn-Queen- **_Sorry this took so long to update (again!) but I have many other stories to see to as well. _

**Proponent of EVO- **_If it's illegal to kill Superman then what about the whole Doomsday thing in the comics?_

**Thanks to- **_Nightbug08, Mony19, HawkAngelXD._

* * *

**Quote of the day- **_'It were proper 'bo, I tell thee.'- _**Craaaiiig Daaavid ('Bo Selecta)**

* * *

**Monaco-**

In a country road somewhere in Monaco, a red sports car zoomed down the highway. The woman sitting in the passenger seat whooped in glee.

'Faster, pussycat, _faster!_' The voluptuous brunette in a very revealing leather outfit cheered. 'Put the pedal to the metal baby, _wooh!_'

'I'm already pushing a hundred and ten, darling.' The random piece of man-flesh replied.

'The faster you go, _querido_, the more it arouses my animal instincts!' The newly escaped criminal known as Encantadora purred seductively.

'I'll see if I can push this baby a little harder.' The stud replied.

Encantadora giggled drunkenly as she was forced back in to her seat by the acceleration.

'Um… dearest?' The stud asked.

'Si…?' Encantadora replied.

'Is it me or is there a man standing in the middle of the road?' The stud asked.

'A _man?_' Encantadora snorted. 'Brad, my little _piñata_, I think you've had a teensy little bit too much to drink this eve…'

Encantadora blinked in surprise as she saw that there was indeed a man standing in the middle of the road, and he wasn't getting out of the way!

Brad spun the wheel, trying desperately to avoid the man with a death wish.

'The brakes!' Encantadora shrieked. _'The brakes!'_

Encantadora watched in horror as the guy standing in the middle of the road somersaulted over the car and landed on the trunk.

'_Dios mio!'_ Encantadora gasped as she saw who the man was. 'Why did it have to be _him?_'

Slade Wilson, aka Deathstroke, the long-time nemesis of the Teen Titans just grinned evilly behind his mask as he unsheathed a sword from behind his back.

Slade never had a chance to use it though, as the car ploughed off the road and hit a tree, catapulting him away.

Her random piece of man-flesh, forgotten, Encantadora struggled out of the ruined car and ran towards the trees.

'Why did this have to happen to me?' Encantadora panted as she ran as fast as she could. 'I wanted to retire in peace with a random piece of man-flesh but _nooo_, somebody had to go and put a price on my head.'

'Those are the breaks I'm afraid.'

Encantadora yelped in surprise as she saw Slade standing in front of her.

'How did you…?' Encantadora blinked. 'You were behind me!'

'Practice.' Slade replied nonchalantly as he pointed the tip of his sword at the woman.

Encantadora fell to her knees before him.

'_Por favor_… Please spare my life! I-I'll do anything. I'm a woman of _many_ talents!'

'Don't beg.' Slade sighed. 'I find it distasteful. All I want you to do is die…'

Encantadora stood up as a grin slowly spread on her face.

'Sorry Senor, but death isn't on my itinerary! Hasta la vista…'

Slade muttered a curse as Encantadora disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Slade took a device out of his pocket and taped a few buttons.

'_Coordinates traced and encoded. Teleporting now.'_

Slade was teleported away. The hunt was on!

* * *

**STAR Labs-**

The main lab in the STAR Complex was full of activity as scientists and Justice Leaguers alike tried to bring Superman back from the brink of death.

The Man of Steel had fallen into a Kryptonite-induced coma and was only moments away from losing all signs of life.

Superman was presently residing in a healing tank while the Atom and various scientists checked up on his status. With him was John Henry Irons, aka Steel and Ted Kord, aka the Blue Beetle. Steel was an engineer while Blue Beetle was a scientist with a genius-level IQ.

Suddenly, alarms began to blare.

'Look out, people!' The Atom yelled. 'Here comes another one!'

The scientists dived for cover as Superman's body went in to spasms as his heat vision went wild.

Once everything was safe, the scientists gathered back around the Man of Steel.

'I don't know how many of these spasms Superman will be able to handle.' The Atom said. 'Even this healing fluid isn't keeping him under.'

'His body temperature is over two seventy-five and still rising.' Steel replied from outside the tank. 'It's like a blast furnace in there.'

'There must be something we can do.' Blue Beetle replied. 'We can't just let him die like this. It's Superman for God's sake. He can't die.'

Standing on the other side of the window, Lois Lane prayed for Superman's recovery.

'C'mon Smallville, you can do this…'

'Ms Lane? Lois…'

Lois turned to see Wonder Woman approach.

'Wonder Woman, what's up?'

'There was a telephone call for you. I believe somebody wants to see you. She has information on Clark's… condition. Encantadora, I think…'

Lois grabbed her coat and rushed out of the room.

'Lois? Do you need any help?' Wonder Woman asked.

'I'm sorry Diana but this is something I have to do on my own.' Lois replied as she strode away purposefully.

Back with the Atom, Steel and Blue Beetle, the three League scientists were discussing their next plan of action.

'Booster said that the team's ready for launch.' Beetle explained. 'Are you sure that we'll be able to pull this off?'

'We're going to have to.' The Atom replied. 'It's all or nothing. If the team doesn't; succeed, Superman's done for.'

'We'd better make sure that we succeed then.' Steel nodded. 'Let's get going.'

Blue Beetle nodded in reply as he followed Steel to the other side of the room where Supergirl, Superman's cousin, and Booster Gold, a golden-armoured fame-seeker from the future, were waiting for him.

'I hope you guys are ready for this.' The Atom said as he took his place behind his controls. 'Superman's survival depends on you four.'

'No pressure then.' Booster sniffed.

Supergirl shot him a glare.

'Sorry.' Booster nodded. 'Just trying to lighten the mood. Gallows humour and all that.'

The Atom tapped his command codes into the controls and the four Justice Leaguers shrunk to a near-microscopic size.

The quartet of Leaguers strode towards a miniature submarine-type vehicle that would carry them through Superman's body.

The Atom's voice called out to the heroes over the radio.

'Usually when I pull this stunt I have about two minutes before my body explodes.'

'_Two minutes?' _Booster hissed. 'Why wasn't I told about this?'

'_Booster!_ Shush.' Blue Beetle hissed. 'Have some decorum.'

The Atom continued on, ignoring Booster's comments.

'Fortunately, Steel and I managed to tinker with the controls a bit. It's not perfect but you should now have about an hour to get the job done.'

'Oh, that's just lovely…' Booster muttered under his breath.

'Take it slow.' The Atom explained. 'There isn't much riding on this, only the life of the man the entire universe is indebted to. Don't do anything to flashy. We're not looking for heroics. Just get the job done and leave. The ship has a surgical laser onboard which should allow you to excise the tumour that is causing all this mess. Try and bring a sample with you, so we can discern the tumour's origins. Any last-minute questions?'

'Nope.' Booster replied.

'I'm good.' Steel added.

'Me too.' Blue Beetle said.

'Ditto.' Supergirl added.

'Godspeed Leaguers.' The Atom nodded as the miniature ship entered Superman's body. 'Let's save a Legend's life…'

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: Fantastic Journey- Part 2**

_Blue Beetle, Booster Gold, Steel and Supergirl encounter antibodies, stomach acid and a sentient cancerous growth in their fantastic journey inside Superman's body. Let's not forget Encantadora in all this. Could she hold the method of Superman's salvation? And what about Lois? And Slade? It all hits the fan next time people so don't miss out!_

_For those of you that liked this, please check out_ 'The Uncanny Superbuddies' _on L1701E's page. It stars Booster Gold, Blue Beetle, Fire, Ice and Guy Gardner. In other words, it's the old JLI/JLE guys. You will like it. It is warm…_


	7. Fantastic Journey: Part 2

**Uncanny Justice League**

**Chapter 7: Fantastic Journey- Part 2**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to DC._

* * *

**Shout Outs-**

**Proponent of EVO- **_I'm glad you like this fic. I've got loads of ideas that I want to try out. Hopefully you guys will like them._

**Oneredneckgoddess- **_I really am sorry that this update took so long but I have many other fics that need my attention. Slade, Encantadora, Superman's Kryptonite tumour. You can bet that the Justice League will have a load of fun with those._

* * *

**Author's Notes-**

_For more adventures from Booster Gold and Blue Beetle, please go and check out_ 'The Uncanny Superbuddies.'_ I co-write it with L1701E. It's on his page._

_Also, this chapter is based on the _'Critical Condition' _arc that ran through _The Adventures of Superman #579-580, Superman: The Man of Steel #101-102, Action Comics 766-767 and Superman #158.

* * *

**Quote of the day- **_'One dollar for eternal happiness? I'd be happier with the dollar.'- _**Mr Burns (The Simpsons)**

* * *

**Inside Superman's body-**

'Superman's bloodstream. Where no Justice Leaguer has gone before. Star date… today. These are the adventures of the USS… Little spaceship… thing. Our mission…'

'Booster! Will you _please_ stop messing around? This is a serious mission!'

'Geez Beetle, I was only trying to lighten the mood.'

'Superman's life is hanging in the balance and all you can do is crack lame jokes? Don't you have any decorum?'

'I would… if I knew what you meant.' The ever-dim Booster Gold replied.

Blue Beetle just shook his head and turned to Supergirl.

'Are you okay, Kara?' Beetle asked. 'This must be extra-hard for you.'

'Oh yeah, I'm just peachy.' Kara replied sarcastically. 'I'm in a tiny little submarine with two science nerds and a jock that won't stop telling bad jokes. How are you?'

'I think I'll sit down.' Beetle sighed.

Up at the front of the craft, Steel carefully piloted the quartet of Leaguers through Superman's bloodstream.

'Look alive, people.' The armour-wearing mechanic called. 'We're nearing the stomach. Atom said we should look out for antibodies. They'll think that we're a disease and try to attack us.'

As if in reply, the craft was rocked by antibodies.

'We won't be able to get to the tumor with all these antibodies in the way.' Steel said. 'We have to make a way through.'

'I'm on it, Boss Man.' Kara said as she got up off her seat.

'Kara, it's too dangerous out there.' Steel told her. 'Let me go.'

'You're the only one that can drive this buggy.' Kara replied. 'And I'm the only one that can survive out there without a containment suit. My cousin's life is in danger and I'm gonna do something about it.'

'Just be careful, okay?' Steel asked. 'Superman'll kill me if something happens to you.'

'That's if the antibodies don't get us first.' Kara replied as she flew out of the craft and attacked the antibodies.

Booster pushed his face up against the window.

'I can see Paris. I can see France. I can see Kara's under…'

'_Shut up Booster!'_ Beetle hissed.

* * *

**The Daily Planet, meanwhile-**

Lois Lane ran up to her cubicle in the offices of the Daily Planet to see a busty woman dressed in a _very_ revealing leather ensemble sitting at her desk.

'Ah! Ms Lane, I've been waiting for you.' Encantadora said.

'Cut the crap, you skank!' Lois hissed as she grabbed Encantadora by the throat. 'What do you know about Superman's condition?'

'I can't tell you here.' Encantadora replied. 'I am afraid that I am being followed. We must leave. He will be here…'

'He is already here.' The mercenary known as Slade said as he appeared behind Encantadora. 'I'm sorry, Ms Lane. This woman has an urgent appointment with the Grim Reaper.'

'That's what you think, chico.' Encantadora smirked as mist began to coalesce around here.

'Oh Hell no!' Lois yelled as she leapt towards the steadily disappearing Encantadora. 'You're not getting away from me _that_ quickly!'

And with that, Lois disappeared into the mist along with Encantadora.

Slade just hung his shoulders in disappointment.

'Oh for crying out…'

* * *

**Back inside Superman-**

Back inside Superman's bloodstream, Kara was fighting for her life against the antibodies that threatened them. For every antibody that she took down, fifteen more seemed to take its place.

'A little help would be nice.' Kara muttered to herself.

'Your wish is my command, cutie.' Booster Gold replied as he flew out to join her. 'I'm a man and I have a gun. Hoo-hah!'

'Please, spare me the macho crap.' Kara sighed. 'Just shoot the antibodies, okay? We need to get to the tumor before it's too late.'

Booster cocked his blaster and pointed it at the antibodies.

'Hey antibodies, say hello to my little frien'!'

And with that, Booster let rip with a barrage of electricity, zapping the antibodies.

'He's doing it!' Beetle said in amazement. 'Booster's actually doing it!'

'Nice to see you have faith in me, Beetle.' Booster replied as he cleared a path through the antibodies. 'Now get your butts over here before we get swamped.'

'Holy monkey!' Beetle gasped. 'Look at the size of that thing!'

The rest of the Leaguers turned as one and goggled at the sight of the luminescent green tumor on the stomach wall.

'I'd say that we've reached our destination.' Beetle said. 'You got that surgical laser ready, Steel?'

'Locked and loaded.' Steel replied.

'Then let's kick some tumor ass!' Beetle nodded.

Unfortunately, Beetle and Steel never got to use the surgical laser as the ship was rocked about furiously.

'What the heck was that?' Beetle thought out loud as he tried to steady himself. 'It felt like an earthquake… Stomach quake… Whatever!'

'Actually, it's the Kryptonian equivalent of peristalsis.' Steel explained. 'If we don't get our butts into gear, we're going to be converted into pure energy.'

'Wait a sec…' Booster said over the communicator. 'You're saying that we're about to be… _digested?_'

'Booster! Kara!' Beetle yelled. 'Get back in here quick!'

'Don't need to tell us twice, Boss.' Kara answered as she grabbed on to Booster and flew towards the ship as fast as she could.

Booster looked up at the blonde Kryptonian and smiled charmingly.

'Say Kara, d'you wanna go out for a drink after this escapade's finished?'

'Now _really_ isn't the time, Booster.' Kara sighed.

'But you didn't say no.' Booster said. 'That's a bonus.'

'Pervert.' Kara muttered as she clambered back in to the ship, just in time to miss the torrent of stomach acid surged past them, rocking the ship.

'Whew.' Kara panted. 'That was a close one.'

'We can get back to the task at hand once the stomach quake's done.' Beetle announced. 'Now we just need to wait…'

* * *

**STAR Labs-**

Professor Ray Palmer, aka the microscopic Justice Leaguer the Atom, turned from his controls as some kind of mist began to coalesce in the lab.

'Dr Kristoff, call security!' Palmer ordered.

'Forget that order, Professor Palmer.' Lois Lane said as she appeared out of the mist. 'I've got somebody that has something to say to you…'

'Ms Lane… Who…?'

'Meet Encantadora, Palmer.' Lois replied as she pushed the Latino conwoman in front of the Justice Leaguer. 'Dora, you tell the nice scientist what you told me…'

Encantadora smiled embarrassedly and nibbled on her nail.

'I-I know what's killing Superman…' She admitted sheepishly.

'_WHAT?' _Palmer yelled.

'I was hired to do a job.' Encantadora gulped nervously. 'Hey, a chica's got to earn a living. I-it was only one kiss… Just one kiss to transfer a nanobot to Superman…'

'_A nanobot?' _Palmer repeated, barely believing his ears.

'Calm down, cutie.' Encantadora sighed. 'Geez. It was a microscopic delivery system, I think. It was carrying a tiny, tiny grain of Kryptonite. It was programmed to spread disease throughout Superman's body. You'll have to protect me. I-I'm being hunted.'

'You deserve whatever you get.' Lois sniffed. 'But we can't just leave you to Slade's mercy.'

As if in reply, the aforementioned mercenary teleported into the lab.

'This is where it ends, witch!' Slade snarled. 'You're not going to charm your way out this time!'

Before the Atom or the others could leap to defend Encantadora, Slade let off a few concussion grenades, flattening everybody in the lab.

'It's a pity that I have to kill you, actually.' Slade admitted as he unsheathed his sword. 'You really are quite attractive. But money's money. I'll kill you and then move on to the Man of Steel.'

Slade turned his head as he heard the tank behind him bubbling.

'What the Hell?'

Superman was going through another involuntary body spasm. The Man of Steel's heat vision lashed out, narrowly avoiding Slade.

'Better get this over and done with.' Slade sniffed as he tightened his grip on Encantadora. 'I won't be able to collect my fee if I'm turned into barbeque.'

Slade was just about to slit Encantadora's throat when he heard somebody crawling across the floor.

'I wouldn't do that if I were you, Ms Lane.' Slade warned as he watched the reporter crawl towards the comm-unit on the nearest control panel.

'S-Steel… Have to tell him ab-about the n-nano…'

Slade just rolled his eyes in exasperation.

'Well, the contract did say to silence Encantadora by any means necessary… and anybody who she may come in contact with. Sorry Ms Lane, strictly business.'

Lois dropped the communicator and looked up at the mercenary.

'Please, you can't do this. W-we have to save him. For God's sake, don't you have any common decency?'

Slade just stared impassively down at her.

'Sorry.'

* * *

**Back inside Superman-**

Back inside the Man of Steel's body, Booster Gold, Kara, and Steel had ventured out of their ship and were hacking away at the tumor while Beetle used the surgical laser onboard.

'Umm, guys…' Beetle said. 'Sorry to spoil your fun but… We've hit a wrinkle.'

'Define wrinkle.' Steel replied.

'I just got word from Lois. The source of Superman's Kryptonite poisoning is a microscopic nanobot. It's mobile. That's all I got before she was cut off.'

'Must be a crappy phone line.' Booster suggested. 'What does this nanobot look like?'

'How about that?' Kara asked as she pointed at a horrific insect-like creature.

'We're gonna need bigger guns.' Booster winced.

* * *

**STAR Labs-**

Slade looked down at the deathly-still Lois Lane with his sword stuck in her shoulder.

'Now, time for the main event.' Slade mumbled as he reached for his sword.

'_YOU SON OF A…!'_

Slade clutched his head in pain as a voice cut through his head. It was Professor Palmer. He had shrunk down during all the confusion and made his way inside Slade's ear canal.

'Get out of my head…' Slade hissed.

'_DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU'VE DONE?' _Palmer yelled as he battered Slade's eardrum. _'FALL ALREADY, DAMMIT! FALL!'_

'N-not w-while I've still got a job to do…' Slade hissed as he limped towards the unconscious Encantadora

Encantadora sat up with a groan.

'Oooh. I'm gonna have a headache for a weak.' Encantadora winced as she rubbed her head. 'Oh God! Lois!'

Encantadora spun to look at Slade.

'_Monstro!_ You killed her! Why did you do it? She's an innocent!'

'N-nobody's truly innocent, w-witch.' Slade hissed as he reached for his gun.

That was it! Encantadora was fed up with all this crap. Seeing Lois lying dead before her was the last straw. Encantadora snarled in rage as her mist began to coalesce around her.

'_Bastardo!'_ Encantadora screamed as she spun around and slugged Slade on the chin. The sudden movement caught the mercenary by surprise and laid him out flat.

'Wow, nice shot.' Professor Palmer said as he returned to his regular size. 'I'd be sorry for the guy if he wasn't such a psycho.'

'Now is not the time for jokes, Atomo.' Encantadora said solemnly as she knelt beside Lois' body. 'Oh God. There is so much blood…'

'Let me.' Palmer said as he knelt down. 'Perhaps I can…'

_Beeeeeee…_

Palmer spun around at the sound that he had been dreading.

'No! Superman's flat lining! He's just gone into cardiac arrest!'

* * *

**Back inside Superman-**

Back inside Superman's body, the quartet of Justice Leaguers were duking it out with the nanobot that was responsible for Superman's condition.

'C'mon, C'mon.' Booster hissed as he let rip with his laser blaster. 'What does it take to beat this sucker?'

'Just keep on trying, Booster.' Steel replied as he smashed at the nanobot with his hammer. 'Superman's life is depending on us.'

'As if there wasn't enough pressure already.' Booster muttered as he blasted away.

'Kara, how are you faring?' Beetle asked from his position at the controls of the ship.

Kara didn't reply, she just yelled in rage as she let flew at the nanobot and tore at it with her bare hands.

'Follow her lead, people!' Steel ordered. 'Kara's got the right idea. Put all you've got into it!'

Beetle and Booster did as they were told as they gave it their all.

Kara screamed obscenities as she tore through the nanobot with ruthless abandon.

'In other circumstances I would be seriously turned on by that.' Booster commented. 'But now, she's freaking me out.'

'You and me both, Booster.' Beetle replied. 'I never knew Kara had such a temper.'

Kara gave one last yell as she ripped the nanobot in two.

'Kara!' Steel yelled as he flew towards the young Kryptonian. 'Are you okay? You seemed…'

'Really pissed off?' Kara panted. 'Fighting for your cousin's life'll do that to you.'

'Well, I say we get back on board and make our way home.' Steel said. 'We can only hope that everything is okay outside.'

* * *

**STAR Labs-**

Professor Palmer and Encantadora watched as the other scientists hurried to restart Superman's heart.

'God. I never intended for this to happen…' Encantadora whimpered, her eyes brimming with tears. 'They have to let me in. I can help!'

'It's a little too late for that now. 'Dora.' Palmer replied angrily. 'I'm only letting people who respect life in there right now.'

Encantadora spun around as she heard Lois gasp.

'_Lois!' _The Latino conwoman gasped joyously. 'You're alive!'

'It'll take something more than a piddling little sword to take em down.' Lois replied with a weak smile. 'I guess I'm just too stubborn to know when I'm beat. Ow!'

'Palmer! You have to help her. Please. I'm begging you.' Encantadora begged. 'I-I can help her. My mist… I-it can heal her.'

'Do your stuff.' Palmer nodded as he placed his hand around the sword's hilt. 'We'll get you out of this, Lois. I swear.'

Encantadora's mist began to coalesce around them, healing Lois slowly, but surely.

'Come on Lois…' Encantadora sobbed, tears falling steadily down her cheeks. 'You have to live through this… I can't live with another life on my mind…'

Meanwhile, in the tank where the scientists were trying desperately to restart Superman's heart, the scientists had resorted to using lighnting to jump-start his heart.

'Dammit!' Dr Kristoff hissed. 'It's not working. Hit him again. We have to make this work.'

The other scientists didn't reply as they readied the machine for another shock of lightning.

'_Clear!'_ Dr Kristoff yelled.

Superman's body jolted as the electricity coursed through his body.

'_Hit him again!' _Kristoff ordered.

Back with Palmer and Encantadora, Lois hissed in pain as Professor Palmer yanked the sword from her shoulder.

'_Oooh._ That's gonna sting come morning.' Lois hissed.

'Oh thank God!' Encantadora sobbed as she hugged Lois close. 'I thought we had lost you.'

'Not that I don't appreciate the hugs or anything…' Lois said ' But… ow!'

'Oops!' Encantadora winced. 'Sorry.'

Unseen by the trio however, Slade had regained consciousness and had picked up his sword.

'_Rrrraaaaagghhh!' _Slade yelled as he charged at them with his sword held high. Slade stopped in his tracks as he heard an unusual sound. Slade slowly turned his head.

'Heat vision? Oh… fu…'

Slade's comment was cut off as a red, yellow and blue blur crashed into him, smashing him through the wall.

'Hey, look who isn't dead.' Professor Palmer grinned happily. 'Nice to see you up and around, Big Guy.'

Superman, now fully functioning thanks to the lighting bolts, looked around at the lab.

'I die for a few hours and this is what happens?' He chuckled. 'Remind me never to do it again.'

Lois just sobbed with happiness as she leapt at Superman and enveloped him in a huge hug.

'Oh God!' She sobbed. 'I thought we'd lost you.'

'You did, for a little while.' Superman replied. 'But I guess I'm just too stubborn to know when I'm beat.'

'Hey! Don't start the party without us!' Booster Gold hollered as the ship returned to its regular size. 'Don't we get a hug?'

'Thank you Booster.' Superman said gratefully. 'You too Beetle, Steel.'

'Hey, what about me?' Kara asked indignantly. 'I didn't exactly sit around on my butt y'know.'

'Thank you, Kara.' Superman said a she hugged his cousin close. 'You're all in my debt.'

'Aww, get away ya big lug.' Kara smirked as she swatted Superman on the shoulder. 'People're watching.'

'That reminds me…' Superman remembered. 'Booster, about your intentions towards my cousin…'

Booster gulped nervously and began to walk away with his hands held up in front of his face.

'A-about that…' He stammered. 'Things were said… Things that may have sounded sexist but were actually meant to be compliments… You're going to hurt me, aren't you?'

'No, I think I'll leave that to Kara.' Superman smirked.

'Now c'mon, ya big perv.' Kara said as she took Booster by the arm, a big grin on her face. 'I thought I heard something about a drink…'

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: Batman's Adventures in Dog-sitting**

_When Superman goes on a leave of absence to recover from his near-death experience, it's up to Batman and Wonder Woman to look after the newest addition to the Super-Family, Krypto the Super-Dog!_


	8. Batman's Adventures in Dog Sitting

**Uncanny Justice League**

**Chapter 8: Batman's Adventures in Dog-Sitting**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to DC._

* * *

**Shout Outs-**

**Lil' Pup- **_You want a GL/HG chapter? You got it…_

**Aaron- **_I'm glad you liked the chapter. I really had fun writing it. I'm afraid that there will be no Booster/Kara pairing as that is just too weird, even for me._

**Doza- **_Don't worry, there will be no Booster and Kara here. They are just friends. Will Bats and Wondy ever get through a date in peace? Doubtful._

**Proponent of EVO- **_I doubt that Bats would hurt Krypto. I don't think he's really into animal cruelty. Besides, Superman would kick his ass if he did it._

**Thanks to- **_Ccabello._

* * *

**Notes- **_If you enjoyed this, please go and check out _'The Uncanny Superbuddies'_ I co-write it with L1701E. It's a spin-off from this story starring Blue Beetle, Booster Gold, Fire, Ice, Guy Gardner and many more._

* * *

**Wayne Manor-**

It was a beautiful summer's day in Gotham City. The sun was high in the sky. The birds were singing. Butterflies were fluttering from flower to flower, doing their bit to ensure floral diversity. And Bruce Wayne was relaxing in his spacious garden with an ice-cold glass of lemonade beside him.

Bruce was supposed to be reading the business pages of the day's paper but his attention was focused on the figure that was making use of his swimming pool. The raven-haired beauty in a red bikini that barely contained her curves. She was Princess Diana of Themyscira. Wonder Woman.

Ever since Diana's injury at the hands of Scorch in Virginia **(1)**, Bruce and Diana had become very close. Bruce even managed to tell Diana that he loved her without spontaneously combusting.

It only seemed natural for Bruce to offer Diana accommodation at the mansion. Dick had his own apartment in the city that he shared with Barbara. The only people that Bruce shared the mansion with were Alfred and Tim, not to mention the vast amount of bats in the cave down below. It didn't hurt that Bruce liked to have Diana around too.

Bruce watched as Diana climbed out of the swimming pool, swirling her hair around her head. Bruce wasn't one to believe in mysterious deities and what have you but it was almost as if Aphrodite herself had climbed out of his pool.

'If you keep looking at me like that, you may just go blind.' Diana teased as she made her way towards Bruce.

'I have no idea what you mean.' Bruce answered innocently. 'I was just reading the business pages.'

'I see…' Diana nodded sceptically. 'Do you usually read the newspaper upside down?'

Bruce looked down at the newspaper in his hand and noticed that it was indeed upside down.

'I thought I was supposed to be the detective.' Bruce said, the merest hint of a smile gracing his lips.

'What's this…?' Diana teased as she took a seat beside Bruce and leaned in closer. 'The Dark Knight smiling? It cannot be…'

'Diana…' Bruce gulped, trying desperately to remain as stoic as possible. 'You're dripping on me…'

'Then perhaps we had better remedy the situation…' Diana purred lustily as she reached down to Bruce's shirt.

'Diana…' Bruce whispered. 'We ca…'

Diana put one perfectly manicured finger on Bruce's lips, silencing his protests and proceeded to unbutton his shirt.

'Ahem…'

Bruce and Diana both let out gasps of surprise and jumped apart, Diana accidentally falling to the floor.

'Excuse the intrusion, Master Bruce…' Alfred, Bruce's loyal butler apologized. 'But I believe you have a visitor.'

Bruce sighed reluctantly and buttoned up his shirt.

'I'll be right there.'

Diana picked herself up from the floor and tried to regain any dignity she could.

'We never seem to get an even break, do we Alfred?' The Amazon sighed.

'I have to agree with you on that front, ma'am.' Alfred replied, with a more than amused tone in his voice. 'But things can only get better I believe.'

'Hera hopes that they soon will.' Diana muttered to herself. 'Or I am liable to hit something…'

* * *

**Elsewhere-**

Elsewhere in the mansion, Bruce mad his way to answer the door. To say that he was more than a little peeved was putting it lightly. Nobody disturbs Brucie's smoochie time.

Bruce opened the door to see a familiar bespectacled face peering back at him.

'Clark.' Bruce said nonchalantly.

'Bruce, I have a favour to ask…'

'No.' Bruce interrupted sharply, not even bothering to find out what favour was needed as he shut the door. Unfortunately for Bruce, Clark stuck his foot in the door, preventing it from closing.

'Bruce, you haven't even heard what I need yet.'

'Fine.' Bruce sighed. 'You have two minutes…'

'After all that business with Encantadora and Slade **(2)**, Lois thought that it would be a good idea if we took some time off. Have a romantic weekend away or some such. Long story short, we're going to Niagara Falls. **(3)** I need you to look after this…'

Much to Bruce's amazement, Clark handed him a carry case and sports bag. The carry case was the kind that you would carry a pet around in. What was unusual about the carry case was the fact that it seemed to be made out of some kind of metal.

'Promethium.' Bruce noted to himself as he recognised the unbreakable metal.

'Look after Krypto, okay?' Clark asked. 'He may be a little… awkward sometimes but we love him none-the-less.'

Clark then leant in closer and whispered in Bruce's ear.

'To be honest, Lois has been a little broody recently and I hoped getting her a puppy would suffice for now.'

Bruce just looked down at the innocent little white puppy in the carry case.

'Well, I can't stay here chatting all day.' Clark said as he began to back away. 'His vitamins, toys and food are in the sports bag. See you soon…'

And with that, Clark disappeared as fast as he arrived.

'Why do I get the idea I have just been lumbered with a load of trouble?' Bruce muttered to himself as he carried everything inside.

Once Bruce had stepped inside and shut the door, Diana walked up to him clad in a bright white robe.

'I gather it wasn't League business then.' Diana commented as she noticed the carry case in Bruce's hand.

A huge smile spread on Diana's face as she noticed the cute little puppy within.

'Oh! He's just adorable! Look! He's got his own little cape! That is so sweet!'

'Yes, it's just adorable.' Bruce grumbled through gritted teeth.

Diana cocked a curious eyebrow at Bruce's comment.

'Don't you like animals, Bruce?'

'I don't mind animals…' Bruce grunted. 'It's just… I have a thing with dogs…'

'If you mean Harley Quinn's hyenas, I can understand what you mean.' Diana nodded. 'But, hyenas are not actually dogs; they are more closely related to mongooses or cats. I thought you were a detective, Bruce.'

'I just never found that information relevant.' Bruce sniffed. 'Now, I think we'd better put this… thing somewhere safe.'

'Oh you're no fun…' Diana sighed as she reached down and unlatched the door to the case.

No sooner had Diana done that then Krypto zipped out of the case with the kind of speed that would make the Flash jealous.

Diana winced as she heard the sounds of crashes and exclamations of surprise from Alfred.

'Clark didn't tell you that his puppy had super powers, did he?' Diana asked, nibbling on her fingernail nervously.

'No. He did not.' Bruce replied, the merest hint of a nervous twitch starting on his face.

* * *

**Later-**

Once Krypto had been corralled via the use of Diana's golden lasso and had several tins of dog food in his stomach, Bruce and Diana were finally able to get some peace and quiet.

'Everybody has problems with new pets…' Diana explained as she tried to appease Bruce. 'Okay, Krypto isn't actually _our_ pet but you must surely see my point.'

'If I was the suspicious type, I would start to think that this is retaliation for the incident with Gardner the other day.' **(4)**

'Bruce, you _are_ the suspicious type.' Diana reminded him. 'I doubt that Clark is vindictive enough to do something like this. Guy Gardner on the other hand… But where would _he_ get a super powered puppy from anyway?'

'Gardner is a Green Lantern.' Bruce began. 'Who's to say that there isn't an intergalactic pet shop somewhere that stocks metahuman pets?'

'Oh, now that's just silly.' Diana chuckled. 'Wait, what's that?'

Bruce barely had enough time to run to the window to see what was going on as Krypto smashed through the wall of the kitchen and flew off into the sky.

An out of breath Alfred came running into the room.

'Master Bruce, I'm afraid that we may have a situation…'

'We know, Alfred.' Bruce groaned as he made his way to the grandfather clock that housed the entrance to the Bat Cave. 'Time to go to work…'

* * *

**Downtown Gotham City-**

In and old abandoned balloon warehouse somewhere in Gotham City, the Joker and Harley Quinn were planning their next move.

'What to do…' The Joker thought out loud as he paced back and forth, tapping his chin in thought. 'What to do… We need something… spectacular. Explosive. Spectacularly explosive!''

Harley jumped up and down and waved her hand in the air.

'Ooh-ooh! I've got a killer idea, Mistah J! Pick me! Pick me! I'm ever so smart!'

'What've you got, Harl?' The Joker pointed at the cute, but crazy blonde.

'Let's blow up City Hall! You always did love big explosions.'

'Nah.' The Joker shrugged. 'It lacks… pizzazz.'

Harley tapped her chin as she tried to think of another idea.

'Ooh! We could paint City Hall bright pink_ then _blow it up!'

Joker laughed maniacally and grabbed Harley by the waist, spinning her around.

'_Ha-ha-ha! _Now _that's_ the stuff!' The Joker laughed. 'Now, I gotta get me some pink paint…'

'Got some right here, puddin'.' Harley grinned happily as she held up a can of pink paint. 'We got a whole van of 'em out the back.'

The Joker rubbed his hands in glee.

'Hee-hee! We're gonna paint the town pink! Hee.'

Harley cocked her head as she heard something.

'Puddin', d'you hear that?'

The Joker cocked his head and tried to listen out for anything.

'Oh for the love of rubber chickens…' The Joker groaned. 'I knew this was going too well…'

Then, as if in reply, something smashed through the wall.

'Oh goodie.' The Joker groaned. 'It's Bat… dog?'

The Joker and Harley both looked on dumbfounded at the sight of the white puppy with a red cape that hovered before them. Krypto panted happily.

'Looks like more of a Super-Dog to me, puddin'.' Harley commented. 'But why would the Big Blue Boy Scout be in the Rotten Apple?'

'Who cares?' The Joker hissed as he pulled out a gun. 'This pooch is poached!'

Harley winced as the Joker let rip with a salvo of bullets at Krypto, every one of them bouncing harmlessly off his hide. Krypto just scratched behind his ear with his foot, not even taking any notice of the bullets.

'Aww, nuts.' The Joker pouted as Krypto growled angrily. 'Harl, how about calling the babies?'

Harley put two fingers to her mouth and gave a shrill whistle, summoning Bud and Lou, her two hyenas.

'Sic 'im babies!' Harley commanded.

The hyenas obeyed their mistress and leapt to attack Krypto.

Krypto was ready however, as he flew straight at Bud, knocking him to the ground. Lou leapt to defend his brother, only to get zapped with a blast of heat vision.

'You stinkin' mongrel!' Harley yelled in anger and horror as she picked up her giant mallet. 'I'm gonna turn you into poochie pancakes!'

Harley swung her mallet at Krypto, only for it to shatter against the dog's invulnerable hide.

'Aww, poopie.' Harley winced as Krypto turned to her.

* * *

**Later-**

Batman and Wonder Woman watched from their perches atop a nearby gargoyle as Joker and Harley Quinn were led away by a snickering Commissioner Gordon and the rest of Gotham's finest.

'Oh man, beaten by a dog.' Harvey Bullock laughed. 'You've hit a new low, Joker.

'This is too rich.' Renee Montoya added as she wiped a tear from her eye.

The Joker leered up at Batman and Wonder Woman.

'We woulda gotten away for it if it wasn't for you pesky Leaguers!' The Joker hissed.

'And yer dumb dog too!' Harley added.

Back up atop the gargoyle, Wonder Woman gave Krypto a congratulatory pat on the head.

'Who's a good little crime-fighting doggie?' Wonder Woman cooed. 'Yes you are. Yes you are. You are a good little crime-fighting doggie. Isn't he, Bruce?'

'He was… adequate.' Batman replied nonchalantly.

'Ignore the nasty Batman.' Wonder Woman cooed again as she petted Krypto. 'He's just jealous that his nemesis was taken down by a cute widdle dog.'

'Diana, must you _really_ speak to the dog like that?' Batman groaned.

'Would you prefer I spoke to _you_ like that?' Wonder Woman teased in reply 'Brucie-wucie-wucie?'

'Not a word of this to anybody.' Batman growled. 'Especially not Guy Gardner!'

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: Legends**

_It's Green Lantern and Hawkgirl's turn next as they assist a legendary Green Lantern with a mission in space. Who is that legendary Green Lantern? Hal Jordan!_

* * *

**Notes-**

**(1)- **_Diana was injured during a fight with the Justice League and Scorch in Chapter 3._

**(2)- **_Check out last chapter for details._

**(3)- **_Superman II reference. Get it?_

**(4)- **_The aforementioned incident with Guy Gardner took place in _'Uncanny Superbuddies'_ co-written with L1701E. One punch! One punch!_


	9. Contest of the Amazons: Part 1

**Uncanny Justice League**

**Chapter 9: Contest of Amazons- Part 1**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to DC._

* * *

**Author's Notes- **_First off, an apology to those of you that were expecting a Hawkgirl/GL-centric chapter__This arc was just too good to resist. I hope it suffices. Don't fret though, there will be a Hawkgirl/GL-centric chapter once I've finished this arc._

_This arc is set before the beginning of '_Uncanny Wonder Woman._'_

* * *

**Justice League Watchtower-**

Diana was sitting in the cafeteria with Shayera, Dinah and Kara. They were spending their break gossiping about guys.

'So Diana, about you and Bruce…' Shayera started with a smirk.

Diana groaned inwardly. She knew it would only be a matter of time until the teasing started.

'What about it, Shayera?' Diana sighed.

'Have you guys done it yet?' Shayera asked like it was no big deal.

Kara and Dinah didn't even bother to conceal their laughter as they laughed out loud. Several of the other Leaguers nearby cast suspicious gazes at the two laughing women.

'It is no business of yours whether Bruce and I have done it.' Diana replied simply. 'Why are **you** so interested? Have you and John done it yet?'

'Dinah and Ollie have!' Kara piped up with an evil grin.

'Kara!' Dinah hissed in embarrassment. 'Don't tell everybody my secrets!'

'D'you go for older men then, Dinah?' Shayera snickered.

Dinah just held her head in her hands and groaned out loud.

'I thought we were embarrassing Diana.' Dinah groaned. 'Not me. _Diana!_'

'Is Ollie no good in bed, then?' Kara snickered.

'Please stop.' Dinah groaned.

'Does he have problems loading his bow?' Shayera teased.

'Please shut up.' Dinah groaned once more.

'_Diana, sorry to disturb your fun but you are needed in the monitor room…_' A voice announced in the Amazon's head.

'_I'll be right there, J'onn._' Diana answered as she stood up from her seat. 'Sorry to break this up so soon.' Diana apologised. 'J'onn wants me.'

'No problem, Diana.' Kara shrugged. 'It'll give us plenty of time to talk about you behind your back.'

Diana just shook her head with a kind-hearted chuckle as she headed for J'onn's monitor room.

* * *

**The monitor room-**

Diana strode purposefully into J'onn's monitor room.

'You wanted to see me, J'onn?' Diana asked.

'Yes.' J'onn replied as he gently floated down to meet Diana. 'I was monitoring the Royal Flush Gang in Boston and I happened on something that you may find interesting…'

Diana turned to the screen that J'onn indicated. It showed a young woman aged in her late teens handing the Royal Flush Gang their butts. The woman had jet-black hair and was wearing a red low-cut costume that had a gold star motif, a yellow belt with a gold W-shaped buckle, and black knee-high high-heeled boots.

'Donna?' Diana thought out loud. 'What in Hera's name is she doing away from Themyscira?'

'A friend of yours?' J'onn asked.

'Try sister.' Diana replied.

'I never knew you had a sister.' J'onn blinked. 'Do you know the reason why she has ventured away from your home?'

'None off the top of my head.' Diana shook her head. 'You'd better teleport me down there so I can find out for myself.'

'You should take somebody with you.' J'onn suggested 'The Royal Flush Gang is dangerous.'

'If Donna keeps on beating on them like she is now, they may very well be defeated by the time I get there.' Diana half-grinned.

* * *

**Boston- **

The young Amazon known as Donna Troy took a breather as she sat atop an upturned car.

'Who ever thought that Man's World would be this fun?' Donna smiled to herself. 'I think this is the right Boston. How many Bostons could there possibly be?'

'There is a Boston in the United Kingdom. In Lincolnshire, I believe.'

'Diana!' Donna grinned. 'I _have_ found the right place! You have to come home straight away. Mother has something urgent that she needs to tell you!'

'Shouldn't we get the greetings out of the way first?' Diana asked. 'It is customary.'

'Hello Diana.' Donna sighed. 'Now will you come home? It really is important.'

'Just let me get my invisible plane.' Diana smiled, eager to see her home again.

* * *

**On the way to Themyscira: Later-**

Diana was sitting in the cockpit of her invisible plane while Donna sat behind her. Diana was presently explaining to Batman the reason for her sudden disappearance.

'So that is why I have to leave.' Diana explained. 'My sister was a little vague on the details I'm afraid so I can't tell you more.'

'I wish you all the best, Diana.' Batman replied honestly. 'For whichever reason you have been summoned home.'

Donna peered over the back of Diana's seat to take a look at the view screen.

'Ooh.' The younger Amazon cooed. 'Who's the man? He's cute. Is he your boyfriend?'

'Donna. Do you mind?' Diana sighed. 'This is a private matter.'

Donna just rolled her eyes and sat back down.

'I'm sorry about that Br… Batman. Donna has always been known for her curiosity.'

'I understand that younger sisters are the same the world over.' Batman nodded. 'Whether they live on an island full of women or in Man's World.'

'I will be back as soon as I can.' Diana smiled. 'Take care, Batman. Diana out.'

'So…?' Donna asked.

'So what?' Diana responded.

'Is he your boyfriend?' Donna inquired. 'He's cute.'

'Br… Batman and I are…' Diana trailed off.

'Having liaisons?' Donna snickered.

'Oh, shush.' Diana sighed. 'You were always a gossip-monger, even when we were children.'

* * *

**Themyscira-**

Once Diana had stowed her invisible plane somewhere safe, she headed straight for Hippolyta's palace.

The Queen of the Amazons smiled as she saw her oldest daughter approach.

'Diana! At last you're here!'

'It's a pleasure to see you too, mother.' Diana smiled as she hugged her mother close.

'Spare us the melodrama, Hippolyta.' A redheaded Amazon sneered. 'Can we _please_ get this farce over and done with?'

'Patience, Artemis.' Hippolyta said. 'We shall begin when everybody has arrive.'

'Why? What shall we begin?' A still clueless Diana asked.

'Did Donna not tell you?' Hippolyta blinked. 'Why, we are holding a contest to see who has the right to carry the mantle of Wonder Woman.'

'_What?_' Diana gasped. 'W-why? Have I failed in my duties somehow?'

'I am afraid that several of our sisters believe so, Diana.' Hippolyta said solemnly. 'Including Artemis.'

Diana cast a caustic glance to the redheaded Amazon. Artemis was one of the Bana-Midghdal, a tribe of Amazons that had left Themyscira to venture into Man's World. It was reputed to be due to the fact that Bana-Midghdal were jealous of the Themysciran Amazon's immortality.

'You have always been contemptuous of the fact that I have the mantle of Wonder Woman, haven't you Artemis?' Diana remembered, narrowing her eyes suspiciously. 'Why all this trouble now?'

'You have become tainted by your time in Man's World.' Artemis replied. 'You bring men to this island. You fraternise with them like you are one of them. You do not _deserve_ to be called Wonder Woman!'

'Why you…!' Diana snarled, taking a lunge at the woman.

'Diana! No!' Donna yelled as she leapt in to hold her older sister back. 'Save your energy for the contest. Then you can show Artemis who is worthy.'

'Yes.' Diana muttered to herself. 'I will show her who is indeed worthy…'

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: Contest of Amazons- Part 2**

_Will Diana be able to keep the mantle of Wonder Woman? Or will Artemis take it from her? Tune in next time to find out…_

* * *

**Author's Notes: **_If you enjoyed this, please go and check out the spin-off fics_ 'Uncanny Suicide Squad' _and _'The Uncanny Superbuddies' _(co-written with L1701E.)_


	10. Contest of the Amazons: Part 2

**Uncanny Justice League**

**Chapter 10: Contest of the Amazons- Part 2**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to DC._

* * *

**Shout Outs-**

**Sean Malloy-1- **_I can't answer that question, it'll give away the ending. Heh-heh._

**Doza- **_Yeah, I guess it would have been a better idea to finish this arc first, but 'Uncanny Wonder Woman' was just too good to leave._

**Thanks to- **_Ccabello, todd fan._

* * *

**Themyscira: Diana's Royal Quarters-**

Diana's mind was awhirl as she prepared for the upcoming contest. Why would her mother hold such a contest? Surely Diana had served the Amazons way of life well.

Diana was so involved in her thoughts that she didn't even notice Donna walk into her chambers.

'Knock knock.' Donna said as she cautiously stepped up behind her older sister. 'Umm… I was supposed to come and collect you. Everybody is ready to begin the contest.'

'I see.' Diana replied simply, not even turning from her mirror as she tied her hair into a loose ponytail.

'Diana. About this contest…' Donna began. 'I don't think our mother is of a sound mind. She has been acting so strange recently.'

Diana turned to regard her younger sister.

'How do you mean strange?' The older Amazon asked.

'I don't know.' Donna answered. 'She has just seemed distant. As if something was on her mind. And there is talk around the palace that mother's sleep has been disturbed by horrific visions. I tried to ask about them but mother wouldn't tell.'

Diana just shook her head.

'No. That can't be right. Mother is one of the most level-headed women that I know.'

'Then why is she holding this contest?' Donna asked. 'Mother has always been so proud of you, showing Man's World the way of the Amazons.'

'We can talk about this later.' Diana said as she checked her robes. 'First we need to deal with this contest.'

* * *

**The Ceremonial Arena-**

Diana was now gathered with her sister Amazons as Hippolyta began the commencement ceremony.

'Sister Amazons, we have gathered here today for a most important contest. A contest to decide who shall replace Diana in her role of spreading the way of the Amazons into Man's World. Even though Diana is my own daughter, I shall show no bias towards any of you. All Amazons taking part in the contest are equals.'

Not very far away form where Diana was standing, Artemis sneered in contempt.

'We could do well to do away with such sentimentality and begin the contest already.' The redheaded Amazon muttered. 'I do not have time to waste waiting for the Queen to finish her blathering.'

Diana tried desperately to swallow her anger. She would have to save it for the contest. Then she would show Artemis who was worthy…

First up was a test of skill. Several round targets were set up in front of the gathered Amazons and in turn, every one of them was given spears. Whoever proved most accurate with the spears would move on to the next round.

Diana looked at Artemis out of the corner of her eye. The rival Amazon simply looked straight ahead as she tested the spear's weight.

Diana watched as her rival scored a hit direct in the centre of the target. Diana then picked up her spear and prepared to throw.

The spear flew through the air and embedded itself in the centre of the target. Diana couldn't help but smile at Artemis. The redheaded Amazon just cast a caustic glare back at her.

Next up was a similar test but this time it was with a bow. Each Amazon nocked their arrows into their bows and let fly. Once again, Diana waited to see how Artemis fared. Once again, the redheaded Amazon scored a bulls-eye.

Diana stepped up and let her arrow fly. A collective gasp rose from the Amazons, contestants and those viewing the contest alike. Diana had split Artemis' arrow in two, also scoring a bulls-eye.

Diana didn't even bother to conceal her amusement at Artemis' muttered curse.

And so the test continued. There were tests of speed as the Amazons ran around the arena. Tests of strength as each Amazon tried to prove who was the strongest. There were even tests that combined them all.

Diana sized up her opponent, a brunette Amazon that she knew as Mala. Mala was holding a pummel in her hands and trying to prevent Diana from reaching her target, a giant pole that had a mock Golden Fleece perched precariously up the top.

Diana carefully inched closer to her target. Mala dashed out and swung the pummel at Diana's legs. Fortunately, Diana jumped out of the way and grabbed hold of the rope that would allow her to climb up the pole. Mala then swung the pummel at Diana's head. Once again, Diana avoided the blow. This time she snatched the pummel away from Mala and hit her on the chin, stunning her opponent. With Mala momentarily occupied, Diana made her way up to the top of the pole and snatched the fleece, holding atop her head in victory. If tomorrow tests were just like this, Diana would have no problem with them at all.

* * *

**Diana's chambers: Later-**

Diana was sat in her chambers with Donna, talking about the first day's contest results.

'I wish I could have seen Artemis' face when you cleaved her arrow like that.' Donna laughed. 'She must have been red with anger.'

'We must not take pleasure from the defeat of others.' Diana said mock seriously. 'No matter how satisfying it is.'

'I don't even know why we are bothering to hold this contest.' Donna smiled. 'Nobody will able to take your responsibilities as Wonder Woman away. You will beat everybody. I'm sure of it.'

'Thank you for your faith in me, Donna.' Diana smiled. 'It's a pity that we finally got together after all this time under such circumstances. I only wish that mother allowed you to join me in Boston.'

'Funny story actually…' Donna began. 'I was talking to mother about that very thing the other day…'

Diana cocked a curious eyebrow at her younger sister. What was she getting at?

'What do you mean, Donna?' Diana asked. 'Mother would never let you venture into Man's World alone.'

'That's why I'm going to come and stay with you.' Donna smiled. 'You must be lonely all alone in that big house of yours. Unless you live with that handsome Dark Knight…'

Diana shook her head good-naturedly.

'Batman and I don't live together.' Diana explained. 'We are just friends.'

'With privileges?' Donna teased.

'Let's get some sleep, shall we?' Diana asked, quickly changing the subject. 'We have a busy day tomorrow.'

'You may act coy as much as you wish, Diana.' Donna snickered. 'But I will find out the truth about this Dark Knight of yours. I always do in the end.'

'Go to sleep, Donna.' Diana sighed.

* * *

**The next day-**

Once again, Diana was gathered with her sister Amazons as Hippolyta gave them a speech.

'You have all done very well…' Hippolyta began. 'The next round will consist of a series of battles. You have all been given a talisman that has been marked with a stone. One colour for each team. Red, blue, white or black. Using the various weapons you have each been given, your aim is to overcome the other teams, taking their talisman as your prize. The team with the most talismans at the end will be the winners. They will then move on to the third and final round of the contest.'

Then, the Amazons split up into their respective teams. Diana quickly gathered up her friends: Helena, Venelia, Trigona and Euboea.

'Oh, look who has decided to join us.' Helena sniffed. 'Greetings Artemis. Have you decided to join the winning team for once?'

Artemis just ignored the Amazon's comments ad turned to look straight at Diana.

'I have no idea what kind of weapons Hippolyta calls _these._' Artemis groused as the tapped the blunted point of her spear. 'But at least we have weapons. This is not a game for children, you all may as well leave while you still can. However, now that I am on your team, you may very well learn something from me.'

'Only if the class is how to attack form the rear.' Venelia snorted.

'Would you care to repeat that once more?' Artemis sneered as she pointed her spear at the blonde Amazon.

'How about I show you, Artemis?' Venelia sneered in return as she pointed at the redheaded Amazon. 'Let's have a warm up contest shall we?'

Diana dived in-between the two arguing Amazons.

'Sisters, let's not kill each other before the test even begins. Save yourselves for battle.'

'I am no sister of yours, Diana.' Artemis sneered. 'When I win this test for us, I will show you who is worthy to be called Wonder Woman!'

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: Contest of the Amazons- Part 3**

_With Artemis on her team, will Diana be able to win the test or will the Amazons end up at each other's throats? Then there's the final test. Whirlpools, Harpies and Gorgons, oh my!_


	11. Contest of the Amazons: Part 3

**Uncanny Justice League**

**Chapter 11: Contest of the Amazons- Part 3**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to DC._

**

* * *

Shout Outs-**

**Sean Malloy-1- **_Sorry, no plans for the Leaguers to visit the Batman Beyond future I'm afraid._

**Doza- **_When you find out the result of the contest, just pretend to act surprised, okay? Heh-heh. _

**Thanks to- **_Todd fan, DarkKnight92, Ccabello._

* * *

**Themyscira-**

The blonde Amazon known as Venelia was carefully stalking through the woods of Themyscira. The hunt for the rival teams of Amazons was in full swing.

Venelia was all alone as she searched for her rival Amazons.

'Diana! Artemis!' Venelia called. 'Where in Hera's name are you? If you're going to scout ahead, at least carry your own weapons.'

Venelia sighed heavily and laid her spear, net and bow against a nearby tree to take a breath.

Unseen by the blonde Amazon, she was being watched by a pair of rival Amazons.

'This is almost too easy.' One Amazon whispered with a smirk.

'Quick. Let's pick her off before her teammates realise that she is alone.' Her teammate responded.

And with that, the devious pair leapt down from the trees.

'Give up your talisman!' Amazon Number 1 demanded. 'Or do you wish to fight for it?'

Venelia smiled mischievously.

'Hmm, I think I will fight for it.' Venelia smiled. 'Artemis, now!'

At her teammate's command, Artemis leapt out from the underbrush and dealt Amazon Number 1 a nasty kick to the chin. Before Amazon Number 2 could attack, Artemis tossed her net at her rival, subduing her.

Venelia looked down at the two beaten Amazons as Artemis took their talisman.

'Next time, you can be the bait.' Venelia sniffed. 'I would like to see some action too.'

'Oh, you will get plenty of that, sister!' Another rival Amazon yelled as she jumped out from cover. 'We have plenty of reserves waiting.'

Venelia spun around and held her shield up high, deflecting her rival's sword blow.

'Wait!' One rival Amazon noticed, looking around.. 'Where is Diana?'

'Right behind you, sister.' Diana replied as she leapt down from her perch, dealing the black-haired Amazon a nasty kick to the back.

'Quick! Let's get her!' The black-haired Amazon's teammates yelled as they leapt in to avenge their sister.

'Gaea!' Venelia hissed. 'We have to help Diana.'

'Diana can help herself.' Artemis sniffed as she leant against a tree. 'She is a big girl now. Let's see how she does.'

Diana met the first Amazon with a meaty kick to the gut and followed on with a throw over her shoulder. The next Amazon fell to an elbow to the throat. Another fell as Diana swept her legs from under her.

Soon all the rival Amazons fell to Diana's might.

'Nice to see that your time in Man's World has not dimmed your skills, Diana.' Artemis sniffed as she approached Diana. 'I would not wish to beat somebody that is not at the top of their game.'

'Your attempts at riling me aren't working, Artemis.' Diana said levelly. 'Some people are not as quick to anger as others.'

'Yes, like a certain redheaded Amazon not too far away.' Venelia snickered.

'You had best watch how you address me, _sister._' Artemis hissed. 'I would hate for something _nasty_ to happen to you in the time it takes us to return to Hippolyta.'

'I welcome the challenge, Artemis.' Venelia replied. 'Any time, any place.'

Diana just shook her head. Under other circumstances this would be amusing. Not so right now. The whole contest was too serious for jokes. The slightest misstep and Diana could lose her rights to the Wonder Woman name.

* * *

**Later-**

Queen Hippolyta watched as Diana's team dropped their collected talismans into a golden dish. Hippolyta did a quick count to make sure that her initial score was right before turning to the winning team.

'The winning team consists of Artemis, Venelia, Helena, Trigona, Euboea and Diana. All six Amazons will compete as individuals in the last round of the contest.'

A cheer rose from the Amazons gathered around.

'Why are _they_ cheering for _us?_' Artemis sneered. 'We defeated and humiliated them. They cannot move on to the next round thanks to us.'

'You are too serious, Artemis.' Diana said. 'Our sisters competed out of fun. They're happy for our victory. Can you not see that?'

'There is no time for jubilance during battle.' Artemis scowled as she turned her back and walked off.

Diana sighed heavily. Artemis would be one tough opponent to beat.

* * *

**The next morning-**

Diana and her fellow Amazons were gathered on a deserted island off the coast of Themyscira. Hippolyta was standing before them with a map.

'The last and final round of this contest will consist of a race around Themyscira.' Hippolyta explained. 'In this race you must cross woodlands, ford rivers and climb mountains. You all must stay alert, as the path will be fought with danger. More than any of you could possibly imagine.'

'Danger, mother?' Diana piped up. 'What kind of danger could you possibly mean?'

Hippolyta just ignored her daughter's comments and picked up a gong.

'Ready, everyone, it is time.' The Queen of the Amazons said as she banged the gong. 'May Hera bless you!'

And with that, everybody dashed into the water to swim over to the main island.

Venelia was the most at home in the water so she had a considerable head start. Diana and the other Amazons were close behind her though.

Diana blinked in surprise as she saw a dark spot in the water in front of her. When Diana felt herself being tugged forward by an unnatural tide, that was when she realised what the dark spot was before her: A giant whirlpool! One of Diana's fellow Amazons was having trouble escaping the whirlpool's clutches and was perilously close to drowning.

With the concern for a sister Amazons overwhelming the need to compete, Diana dived deeper into the water to rescue her fellow Amazon.

Diana's lungs burnt with the strain as she tried desperately to reach the struggling Amazon. Then, like a sword cutting through the water, Artemis swooped down and grabbed the semi-conscious Amazon by the hair, pulling her back up to safety.

With her fellow Amazon safe, Diana sped back up to the surface.

Once the Amazons had all escaped the whirlpool's clutches, they took a breather in a small clearing.

'Gaea.' Trigona, the Amazons that had almost been lost to the whirlpool gasped. 'I thought I was lost for good back there. It seems that I owe you an apology, Artemis.'

'You may be premature in thanking me, Trigona.' Artemis replied simply as she narrowed her eyes in thought. 'I can hear something…'

Sure enough, Trigona yelped in surprise as somebody, or something, dropped a net on her.

'Harpies!' Diana hissed. 'Quick! We must defend ourselves before somebody is hurt!'

As usual, Artemis was the first to attack as she leapt upwards, tackling one Harpy to the ground and swiftly snapped its neck.

Diana followed her lead as she caught one Harpy's sword in her hands and snatched it away, decapitating the foul creature in the process.

Artemis has also snagged herself a weapon as she ran yet another Harpy through with a purloined spear.

Diana wiped Harpy blood from her eye as she brought the pummel of her sword down on another creature's skull, crushing it like an eggshell.

The foul creatures soon fell to the Amazon's might. Artemis took that as her moment to carry on to the rest of the race as Diana hurried to release the captured Venelia.

'This race is becoming too dangerous.' Venelia sniffed. 'I'm starting to regret entering this contest to begin with.'

'Save your regrets for later, sister.' Diana replied as she helped her friend up. 'Now, let's show Artemis how to win, shall we?'

* * *

**Later-**

Diana huffed and puffed as she climbed up the side of a cliff. Venelia and Euboea had fallen behind while Artemis and Trigona had sped off ahead.

Diana sighed in relief as she finally reached the top of the cliff. Diana's relief was to be short-lived as she saw a familiar stone figure.

'No! Trigona!' Diana gasped as she ran up to the petrified Amazon. 'She's been turned to stone. That could only mean one thing…'

Sure enough, a ghastly hiss announced the presence of Medusa, the legendary snake-haired woman whop could turn people to stone with one mere look.

Diana closed her eyes tight as Medusa crept up behind her and wrapped her tail around the Amazon's body.

Diana didn't intend to sacrifice herself however as she clutched her sword tight and catapulted both herself and Medusa off the edge of the cliff. Medusa let out a fearsome screech as she met the deadly rocks below, whereas Diana managed to grab the limb of a tree, preventing her from a similar death.

Diana grunted with strain as she started to climb up the cliff once more.

* * *

**Near the finish line-**

Donna and the other spectating Amazons cheered as Artemis and Venelia burst out from the bushes.

'Come on Diana.' Donna muttered to herself. 'Where are you? Please don't tell me that you've fallen already…'

As if to answer Donna's prayers, Diana burst out form the bushes like the Flash with a firework up his backside. She had already sped past the lagging Venelia when she began to approach Artemis.

Diana's lungs burnt like the Pits of Hades as she pushed herself to beat the redheaded Amazon. For every few steps she gained, Artemis sped on more.

Finally, Diana seemed to be winning. That was until her foot caught a stone, making her tumble head-over-heel. Artemis took that as her moment to speed onwards, bursting through the winning line.

The gathered Amazons ran up to the victorious Artemis to congratulate her. Donna however stood back to help up Diana.

'Diana…' Donna said. 'I-I'm sorry… You lost… Artemis…'

'Artemis is Wonder Woman now.' Diana nodded solemnly. 'I understand.'

Donna's heart sank as she watched her beaten sister turn her back and walk away.

'Diana…' Donna whispered. 'Please. Come back…'

But it was too late, Diana had already left.

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: Deadly Trinity**

_A victorious Artemis is crowned as the new Wonder Woman while Diana and Donna travel back to Boston. Unfortunately, Cheetah, Poison Ivy and the assassin known as Cheshire may just make Diana's return to Boston a short one…_


	12. Deadly Trinity: Part 1

**Uncanny Justice League**

**Chapter 12: Deadly Trinity- Part 1**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to DC._

* * *

**Shout Outs-**

**Icha- **_I see that you've only reviewed the Wondy-centric chapters. Heh-heh. The lady knows what she likes. And somebody has finally realised what my inspiration for this arc was. Well done. You get a cookie. _

**DarkKnight92- **_I wouldn't be mean enough to have Diana lose the Wonder Woman name permanently, would I?_

**Sean Malloy-1- **_Sorry, no Justice League/Star Wars crossover._

**Todd fan- **_I think Brucie might have something to say about you hugging his lady. Or perhaps Bats goes for the girl-on-girl thing. Heh-heh._

**Doza- **_Now you're abusing sarcasm. Heh-heh. I guess that's what I get for starting '_Uncanny Wonder Woman'_ before I finished the '_Contest of Amazons'_ arc, huh?_

**Thanks to- **_Insane Ali, gaelis, Ccabello. _

* * *

**Themyscira-**

Diana was standing on her balcony overlooking the city below her. Ever since Artemis had beaten her in the contest and taken away the rights to the Wonder Woman name, the other Amazons had celebrated greatly for the redheaded woman. Even those that Diana considered friends. Okay, Venelia was endlessly loyal to Diana and would never turn her back on her friend, but Diana wished that were the case for the others. At least Donna was on her side.

Diana was so absorbed in her brooding that she didn't noticed a joyous Artemis flying through the air.

After the contest had finished, Artemis had been given the winged sandals of Hermes that allowed the wearer flight, as well as the Gauntlets of Atlas, that endowed super strength upon the wearer.

Artemis crowed in joy as she flew loops in the air.

'_Wahoo!_' Artemis crowed, showing obvious joy. Which was a rarity for somebody like her. 'I can fly! I never actually believed it, but I can fly!'

Diana couldn't stand to see any more, so she turned her back only to see a sympathetic Donna standing at her doorway.

'Artemis still yukking it up?' Donna asked.

Diana simply nodded solemnly.

'That woman is such a savage.' Donna sneered contemptuously. 'You think she would have commiserated you, but _noooo_. Never Artemis. She's only in it for herself. Arrogant cow.'

Diana looked at her younger sister levelly.

'That may be the case, Donna, but Artemis is our sister. We must be supportive of her in her new role.'

'You don't believe that, do you?' Donna asked.

'Not a single word of it. Not this time' Diana admitted with a sigh.

* * *

**The Tower: Meanwhile-**

The Tower was London's very own metahuman containment facility. It was seen best to build such a building now that the International branch of the Justice League had set up shop in England's capital. It was decided that London's infamous Tower would be suitable place to hold metahuman prisoners, as it was used to hold prisoners ever since its conception many hundreds of years ago. It even held prisoners as recently as the Second World War. Although they were prisoners of war.

Once such inmate was the Vietnamese assassin known as Cheshire. She had been kept imprisoned in the Tower ever since she and her fellow assassins had been defeated by the International Branch of the Justice League. The Fatal Five, as the team of assassins had called themselves, had kidnapped Sue Dibny, Elongated Man's wife, to dray the JLI in to a trap. The trap fell apart when Ms. Dibny proved to be more of a handful than the Fatal Five first thought.

Cheshire sat up on her bunk as a guard brought in a tightly wrapped package. The guard deposited the package on the floor without a word, then left.

Cheshire raised a curious brow at the mysterious package before leaning forward to open it. There was also a note attached to the package. Cheshire read it out loud to herself.

'Ms. Nguyen, if the guards at the Tower are as corruptible as I thought, you will have received this package. Enclosed are a mirror, a length f twine and a plastic butter knife, as well as a check for half your fee, should you choose to take the job I am offering. However, if you cannot escape confinement, then you are not the one for the job. Regards, Ivy.'

Cheshire looked over her enclosed equipment and an evil mile spread across her lips.

'Looks like I've got a mysterious benefactor.' The assassin grinned. 'I've always admired your work, Ms Ivy.'

* * *

**Boston: Two days later-**

A would be mugger was running through the streets of Boston as if his life depended on it. Unknown to the guy, Boston had its very own metahuman protector. Said protector had interrupted a mugging and was chasing the mugger through the streets.

Even though Diana no longer possessed the star-spangled bikini of Wonder Woman, she had come up with her own costume. Well, Donna was the one that had designed it, actually. Diana now wore a black leather bra with matching hot pants under a plain blue denim jacket with black boots and gloves. It wasn't something that Diana would have gone for, but it was awfully snug.

The thug yelped in fear as Diana plucked him up off the ground and flew up into the sky.

'Please, give me a reason to fight you.' Diana challenged.

'You should really do what she says.' Donna added as she flew up beside her sister, dressed in her very own low-cut red uniform with star motif along the neckline. 'My sister's had a really bad few days, and she wants to let off steam. You don't want to see her when she's angry. Trust me, I've been there.'

'Y-you can't do this!' The mugger whimpered. 'Y-you're the good guys. Y-you're Wonder Woman for God's sake!'

'Not any more.' Diana answered as she let go of the mugger's arm. The mugger let out a blood-curdling scream as he plummeted towards the ground.

'You know, I'm really tempted just to let you meet a painful and swift death.' Diana said as she casually followed the mugger down. 'But as you said, I am indeed one of the good guys and I cannot allow you to die. Which does not mean that I cannot have a little fun to begin with.'

Luckily for the mugger, Diana caught him by the back of his collar mere inches from the ground.

'Oh dear.' Diana tutted. 'The poor man seems to have fainted.'

'Men are such fragile creatures.' Donna chuckled. 'Are you going to hand him over to the police?'

'I think that would be best.' Diana nodded sagely. 'I would rather like to get back home, we still have some unpacking to do.'

'I'm surprised that your Dark Knight friend isn't here to help.' Donna teased.

'I told Bruce that I require my space.' Diana replied.

'Oh, so he has a name now.' Donna chuckled. 'That wouldn't happen to be Bruce Wayne, would it? That famous billionaire.'

'Donna…' Diana sighed. 'Many people in the League have something known as a _secret identity_. It is an identity that they wish to keep…'

'Secret?' Donna finished for her, grinning widely.

'You are really relishing my discomfort, aren't you?' Diana groaned.

'I always have done.' Donna smiled. 'You always were easy to wind up, ever since we were children.'

* * *

**Diana's place: Later-**

Diana muttered to herself and wiped her hands with a dishcloth as she went to answer the door. She had been washing up the crockery from that she had prepared Donna and herself only to be disturbed by the uninvited guest.

'Yes?' Diana sighed tiredly as she opened the door. 'How may I help… _Bruce?_'

Bruce Wayne smiled gently and held out a beautiful bouquet.

'Surprise?' The billionaire smiled.

'I'll say.' Diana blinked before taking the flower. She then glared at the black-haired man standing on her doorstep. 'Didn't I tell you that I wanted my space?'

'And I'm so well known for taking orders.' Bruce responded. 'I just thought that you could do with a little company.'

'Who's that at the door?' Donna asked as she walked up behind her older sister. 'Come on, you're missing the show… Great Merciful Hera! It's Bruce Wayne!'

'And you must be… Donna, correct?' Bruce asked, holding his hand out for Donna to shake.

'Wow.' Donna whispered. 'Your Dark Knight is a babe!'

'Please excuse my sister, Bruce.' Diana apologised. 'This is her first trip away from Themyscira. She's still a little new to all of this.'

'That's quite all right.' Bruce nodded, before leaning close to whisper in Diana's ear. 'I did have an ulterior motive coming here, though. Poison Ivy escaped from Arkham two days ago. This coincided with two other jailbreaks, one in London, and the other in New York. This time it was Cheshire and Cheetah. I believe that they are heading to Boston, Diana.'

'I best get to work then, Bruce.' Diana nodded. 'Pity, I was looking forward to a quiet night in.'

'Oh! Is this a call to action?' Donna piped up, grinning excitedly. 'Justice League business? Can I come with?'

'Sorry, Donna. This is too dangerous for you. Taking on muggers and the like is one thing, but three of the deadliest villainesses known to the Justice League? I'm sorry, but you will have to sit this one out.'

'Oh well.' Donna shrugged. 'I guess that means more popcorn for me. Have a good time.'

Donna then turned to Bruce with a warning glare.

'Touch my sister and I'll beat you to death with a shovel, understood?'

'Understood.' Bruce nodded.

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: Deadly Trinity- Part 2**

_Diana and Batman Vs Cheshire, Poison Ivy and Cheetah. 'Nuff said._


	13. Deadly Trinity: Part 2

**Uncanny Justice League**

**Chapter 13: Deadly Trinity- Part 2**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to DC._

* * *

**Shout Outs-**

**Titans ChicksRule- **_I've checked out my comics and Kara is from Krypton, not Argo. And I haven't seen the Superman cartoon either so you'll have to forgive me if I made a mistake._

**DarkKnight92- **_Oh yeah, Bruce had better watch himself with Diana. One false step and Donna could go medieval on him with a shovel._

**Aaron- **_Yup, Diana and Bats Vs Cheshire, Cheetah and Poison Ivy. A sure excuse for gratuitous violence, no?_

**Todd fan- **_Mmm, shovels…_

**Doza- **_Well, Diana has lost her job as Wonder Woman. People are bound to feel sorry for her._

**Icha- **_I still don't get the Donna/Drusilla connection, care to explain it to me? J'onn's dead? NOOOOO!_

**Thanks to- **_The Elvish XBat Jedi, Ccabello._

* * *

**Boston-**

The Batmobile sped through the streets of Boston as Diana and Batman searched for the three escaped supervillanesses, known as Poison Ivy, Cheetah and Cheshire.

Diana sat in the passenger's seat beside Batman. The Amazon was hoping to take some time off after losing the mantle of Wonder Woman, but the Fates had other plans for her.

Batman looked out the corner of his eye at the solemn Amazon, taking particular notice of Diana's new uniform.

'That's a new look for you.' The Dark Knight commented. 'It's a little revealing, don't you think?'

'I think that it helps me during battle.' Diana responded. 'My opponents are usually too busy staring at me to put up too much of a fight.'

'Just watch yourself near Green Arrow.' Batman quipped. 'Everybody knows what he's like around scantily clad heroines.'

'Which is precisely why I decided not the wear the fishnet stockings.' Diana chuckled. 'I look like a streetwalker enough without the stockings. I don't know how Black Canary is able to pull it off.'

'Most probably because everybody knows not to mess with her.' Batman commented.

'Which then led Wally to comment that she seems to be PMS'ing twenty-four-seven.' Diana responded. 'Then Canary decked him.'

'It almost makes you feel sympathy for him.' Batman smirked.

'What's this?' Diana mock gasped. 'The World's Greatest Detective showing emotion? It cannot be! We must have been transported to Bizarro World or something.'

'Sarcasm doesn't suit you, Diana.' Batman tutted.

'Don't pretend you don't like it, Brucie-Wucie-Wucie.' Diana teased.

'Haven't I told you not to call me that?' Batman hissed.

'But you look so handsome when you're embarrassed.' Diana smiled. 'You get the faintest hint of a blush in your cheeks.'

'Don't let Clark hear about this, whatever you do.' Batman winced. 'Or I'll never live it down.'

'I'll see what I can do.' Diana chuckled. 'No promises.'

Batman just rolled his eyes and returned his full attention to the road.

* * *

**Elsewhere- **

Inthe Boston Botanical Gardens,not very far away, Cheshire, Poison Ivy and Cheetah were waiting impatiently for the impending arrival of the heroes.

'Why do we have to wait here anyway?' Cheetah groused as she stalked about anxiously. 'We could be out there kicking ass instead of sitting on our hands. I didn't join this little shindig just to gander at the pretty flowers. I wanna break stuff.'

'I agree with the fleabag.' Cheshire added. 'I'm an assassin, I need to assassinate. It's part of the job description.'

'Just be patient, ladies.' Ivy calmed her fellow villains. 'If I know the Dork Knight as well as I do, he will be rushing right here with his beloved Amazon by his side.'

'Frickin' witch.' Cheetah hissed. The feline villainess' hatred of Diana was legendary.

Well, I'm still waiting…' Cheshire crossed her arms.

'Wait…' Cheetah put her hand to her ear. 'Do you hear that?'

Cheshire narrowed her eyes as she tried to pinpoint the sound. 'It sounds like…'

'The Batmobile!' Ivy realised. 'Get ready for a fight, ladies!'

'About time too.' Cheetah sniffed.

**

* * *

Outside-**

The Batmobile pulled up outside the botanical gardens as Batman and Diana stepped out.

Diana looked around at their surroundings.

'Are you sure this is the right place?' She asked.

'It is, trust me.' Batman replied. 'I know Poison Ivy. This is just the kind of place that she'd choose to hide out in.'

'Shall we go in, then?' Diana suggested. 'Go kick them very soundly about the posterior?'

'Don't make any particular effort on us, princess.' A predatory voice purred. 'How about we bring the fight out here to you?'

Batman and Diana spun around to see Cheshire, Poison Ivy and Cheetah standing right behind them.

'What?' Cheetah asked innocently. 'No hug for an old friend?'

'I have nothing but a good butt-kicking for you, Cheetah.' Diana narrowed her eyes.

'Less talk, more kicking of butts.' Cheshire sneered. 'Bring it, Bats!'

Cheshire got her wish as Batman tossed a Batarang her way. Unfortunately for the Dark Knight, the assassin caught it and tossed it back at him. Batman tried his best to avoid the razor-sharp bat but ended up getting sliced on the cheek.

'First blood to me, I think.' Cheshire grinned happily.

'Then I will make sure that it is I who strike second blood, witch!' Diana growled as she prepared to fly straight at the Vietnamese assassin.

'Nu-uh, not so fast, princess.' Poison Ivy tutted as she tossed some seeds onto the ground. 'You won't get away that easily…'

Diana was plucked from the air as giant grabbing roots burst through the ground and pulled Diana back down to the ground.

'And I thought the Justice League was supposed to be all that.' Ivy snorted. 'You're nothing without the Wonder Woman name, princess.'

Diana felt her anger well up inside her and fought desperately to escape from the roots that held her.

'There's no use trying to escape.' Ivy tutted. 'The more you struggle, the tighter my babies will hold you.'

'Stop messing around!' Cheshire hissed as she ducked a roundhouse kick from Batman. 'Just kill her already!'

'There's no need to rush my work.' Ivy grinned evilly. 'I may as well take as much pleasure out of this as I can.'

'Why, Ivy?' Batman hissed as he ducked a swipe from Cheshire's poisoned claws. 'Why all this sudden trouble?'

'Why not, Batsy?' Ivy shrugged. 'I'm just holding a party with a couple of friends.'

Batman dodged another kick from Cheshire, only to get slashed across the chest by the assassin's poisoned claws.

'_Batman! NO!_' Diana screamed as she tried desperately to escape. 'You'll pay for this, Cheshire!'

'Oh, far from it, princess.' Cheshire chuckled as she dropped Batman to the ground. 'I'm the one that going to _be_ paid.'

'We're not beaten… yet.' Batman whispered hoarsely as he struggled to get up from the ground. 'I called ahead… Got a secret weapon…'

'What are you blabbering about?' Ivy frowned. 'What secret weapon?'

'Me!' Cheetah hissed as she gave Ivy a punch that sent her stumbling onto her backside. 'When Batman found out that you were looking for allies, he called me up. I'm gonna get a full pardon for selling you out, Compost Gal!'

'Traitor!' Ivy hissed as she wiped blood from her mouth. 'I'll turn you into mulch!'

Cheetah just leapt at the green-skinned villain with a feral yowl and knocked her to the ground. Cheshire tried to leap in to defend Ivy, only to get tossed on her butt as well.

'I really hate to destroy such beautiful flora.' Diana tutted as she advanced on the Vietnamese assassin. 'But you have hurt the man that I love. No force on earth can save you now…'

'I'll see you rot in hell, bitch!' Cheshire sneered as she shot a poison dart at the Amazon.

Diana simply deflected the dart with her bracelets and grabbed Cheshire by the throat.

'Give me one reason why I shouldn't squeeze your head like a zit.' Diana snarled.

'Diana…' Batman hissed as he got up unsteadily to his feet. 'Don't… You're not a… killer.'

'How did you…?' Cheshire blinked. 'You should be dead!'

Batman suddenly straightened up, back to his old self.

'You should make sure that your opponent isn't wearing Kevlar, first.' Batman tutted as he showed Cheshire the slashes in his costume. The Kevlar had taken the brunt of the poison from the dart.

'Dammit!' Cheshire snarled. 'You won't get away with this, Batman!'

'Oh, shut up!' Diana growled as she dealt Cheshire a nasty headbutt, knocking the assassin out.

'Wow, that was hardcore, princess.' Cheetah snickered as she dragged an unconscious Poison Ivy out of the underbrush.

'Bruce, you could have warned me that you had an ace in the hole.' Diana sighed. 'What is it with you and secrets?'

'Force of habit, I guess.' Batman shrugged.

'Sorry to interrupt the warm and fuzzies…' Cheetah piped up. 'But… There's the second part of our deal to take care of, remember? I need somewhere to live. Unless you want me to live on the streets like some common alley cat.'

Batman looked at Diana for her response.

'Oh no, you cannot be serious.' Diana shook her head as she backed away. 'My home is already full enough. I have Donna to take care of…'

'Aww, c'mon, Princess.' Cheetah looked at the Amazon innocently. 'It's not like I'm asking you to marry me or anything, I just need a place to stay until I get my feet back on the ground.'

'I know I'm going to regret this…' Diana groaned into her hands. 'But you can stay with Donna and I.'

'Awright!' Cheetah hugged Diana tight. 'This is gonna be great! We can stay up all night telling girly stories. And in the morning, I can make waffles!'

Diana just looked over her shoulder and narrowed her eyes at Batman.

'I will get you back for this, Bruce…' Diana hissed. 'I am going to make you feel pain like you have never felt before, and not in the good way!'

'Aww, ain't she cute when she's angry?' Cheetah grinned as she squeezed Diana tight. 'You won't regret this, both of you!'

'I hate you all.' Diana groused.

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: Platinum Blonde**

_My obsession with second-rate heroes raises its ugly head once more as we get a chapter devoted to the Metal Woman known as… Platinum! Guest starring: Plastic Man, Red Tornado and Orion!_


	14. Platinum Blonde

**Uncanny Justice League**

**Chapter 14: Platinum Blonde**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to DC._

* * *

**Shout Outs-**

**Todd fan- **_Bruce will never live that down after the Flash finds out._

**DarkKnight92- **_I get my ideas from reading too many comic books. As for Diana and Cheetah living together, check out '_Uncanny Wonder Woman'

**Lil' Pup- **_Be patient, the GL/HG chapter will be along soon._

**Doza- **_Like I said above, for more wackiness with Diana, Donna and Cheetah, check out '_Uncanny Wonder Woman'_. I read that Gen-X fic ages ago. You're right, it was hella funny!_

* * *

**Justice League Watchtower-**

It was business as usual as several members of the Justice league hung out in the cafeteria, chatting over coffee and what have you.

The cafeteria was one of the places that the Leaguers went to catch up on the gossip. Supergirl could usually be found holding court beside the coffee machine, gossiping to anybody that would listen. Today's topic of gossip was Diana's mystery houseguest.

'No, I swear…' Kara whispered. Zatanna, Crimson Fox and Vixen leant in closer so they could hear the gossip. 'Cheetah's moved in with Diana. I know a guy who knows a guy…'

'Oh, _sure_ you do, Kara.' Zatanna snorted, crossing her arms. 'Remember the time you told us that Black Canary was pregnant? Poor Ollie almost had a coronary.'

'But it was awfully funny to see him floundering about like that, clutching his heart and all.' Vixen snickered. 'Poor Ollie, he's getting fragile in his old age.'

Elsewhere, one of the Justice League's newest members was sitting down for lunch.

Platinum was one a member of Metropolis' infamous Metal Men, a team of sentient robots created by Dr Will Magnus.

Platinum was the first metal man that Dr Magnus had built. Her powers included a super-malleable form that enabled her to stretch and morph her arms into basic weapons like knives and what have you. Just like her metallic namesake, Platinum's skin (if you could call it that) was a perfect silver sheen.

Growing bored of being seen only as the token female of a team full of male robots, Platinum quit the team to try and make it on her own.

Platinum's solo career had been rather eventful, not necessarily in a good way. If it weren't for her malleable form, Platinum would have been crushed to death on her first solo mission underneath a nuclear power station in a battle with Metallo. Even then Superman arrived to save the day, much to Platinum's discontent. After giving the Man of Steel a jolly good telling off, Superman suggested that Platinum should take a break from being a hero. That only served to aggravate her even more. Platinum soon proved herself worthy of Justice League sponsorship after she saved Green Arrow, Gypsy, and the Ray from the walking mass of poisonous chemicals known as Chemo.

Even though Platinum was a robot and didn't necessarily need sustenance, she still saw it fit to hang out with her fellow Leaguers in the cafeteria whenever the chance arose. Today she was sitting at a table with the wind elemental imprisoned in a robotic body known as the Red Tornado and the Scion of Darkseid: Orion

'How have you liked you first week with the Justice League, Platinum?' Red Tornado asked. 'I trust you have not found the missions too difficult?'

'That's if I was even asked to go on any missions.' Platinum sighed. 'All I've done so far is monitor duty.'

'That is the way for the League's newest members, I'm afraid.' Red Tornado shook his head. 'I am sure that Superman will allow you to join him on a mission soon enough.'

'Superman doesn't think I'm ready.' Platinum sniffed as she poked at a half-eaten bagel. 'I would have joined the JLI over in London if it wasn't for the debt I owe Green Arrow for sponsoring me for League membership in the first place.'

'That is unusual…' Red Tornado stroked his chin in thought. 'Batman is usually the one that has trust issues.'

'Haven't you heard…?' Platinum whispered as she leant in close. 'Batman and Diana…'

'Everybody has heard.' Orion butted in. 'And I for one am irritated by the constant chatter on the fact. Why sit around gossiping like old women when we could be crushing our foes' skulls?'

'Gee, you're a breath of fresh air, Orion.' Platinum sighed. 'Nobody's making you sit here.'

'It was either sitting at this table or sitting over there with Plastic Man.' Orion sneered.

Platinum turned her head to look over at another table where the shape-shifting jokester was sitting with J'onn J'onzz and the Flash.

'C'mon, J'onny…' Plas insisted. 'Pull my finger. Go on, you know you want to.'

'I did not fall for it the first time, and I shall not fall for it the second.' J'onn replied evenly.

'Aww, c'mon J'onn.' The Flash rolled his eyes. 'Indulge the poor guy. Not everybody can be as funny as me.'

'Oh yeah, you're a regular Buster Keaton.' Plas snorted.

'Buster who…?' Flash blinked.

'You kids don't have no taste.' Plas sighed in defeat as he looked for another victim. 'Hey, Orion! Pull my finger!'

* * *

**Later-**

It was the end of Platinum's shift and she was heading for the teleporters, which would beam her back down to Metropolis.

Platinum's robotic hearing detected rubbery feet and the swoosh of a tornado approaching her. She turned around to see Plastic Man running towards her with Red Tornado flying close behind.

'Tina! Tina! Tina!' Plas panted.

'Yes, that's my name.' Platinum sighed. 'Don't wear it out.'

'There's trouble…' Plas rested his hands on his knees. 'In Metropolis. Metallo. Smashing stuff up. Wants Superman.'

'But Superman's in space.' Platinum remembered. 'What'll we do now?'

'Go down there in Supes' place and kick his butt, of course.' Plas grinned as he morphed into a copy of Superman.' For truth, justice and… stuff.'

'This may strike you as strange, but I agree with Plastic Man.' Red Tornado added. 'We are the only Leaguers not busy elsewhere. We must stop Metallo before somebody is hurt.'

'This will look good on my resume.' Platinum tapped her chin in thought, a smile gracing her beautiful lips. 'It'll prove to Superman that I am ready to join the big table!'

'Gotta love a lady who knows her priorities.' Plas grinned as he took his place on the teleporter pad, waiting to be transported down to earth. 'Beam us down, Scotty…'

Platinum rolled her eyes at Plastic Man's comments.

'Must you say that _every_ ti…'

Platinum's words were cut off as they disappeared in a flash of light.

* * *

**Metropolis-**

Metropolis was in a state of panic. The psychotic cyborg known as Metallo was trashing the whole city in search of Superman.

Unknown to Metallo, the Man of Steel was in space with a team of his fellow Leaguers diverting a Gordanian invasion fleet.

'Get your red-and-blue butt out here, Man of Steel!' Metallo bellowed as he tossed a gas tanker on the ground, kicking up the road in a mushroom cloud of dust and debris.

'Come out here you coward!'

'I'm sorry, but Superman isn't here right now. Please leave a message after the sound of your butt getting kicked.'

'The hell…?' Metallo blinked as he spun around to see Plastic Man, Platinum and Red Tornado ready for action.

An evil grin spread across the cyborg's skull-like face.

'Oh, this is fresh.' Metallo snorted. 'Superman chickened out so he sent the Little League instead. Ha! Give it up kiddies, you'll never win.'

'I take it you don't remember me, then?' Platinum frowned as she turned her arms into two giant knife blades.

'I fight a lotta people.' Metallo shrugged. 'What difference does one metal chippie make?'

'Never mind.' Platinum rolled her eyes. 'Prepare to be beaten, Metallo!'

'Bring it, sweetness!' Metallo challenged.

Platinum took on the role of leader as she barked orders.

'Reddy, Plas, you take care of the civilians. Take the injured to hospital. Metallo is mine!'

'But I wanna fight the robot…' Plas whined.

'You'll get a fight from **me** if you don't do as you're told.' Platinum frowned.

'On my way…' Plas yelped.

'Ooh, the girlie wants to play…' Metallo grinned as he cracked his robotic knuckles. 'But why star with a fight, why don't we get to know each other first? If you know what I mean.'

'Unfortunately, I do.' Platinum shuddered. 'And there's no way that I'd even contemplate _getting to know _you. I've already got eye on somebody.'

'Whatever.' Metallo shrugged. 'Let's go already…'

'Your wish is my command.' Platinum nodded as she leapt in to attack.

Platinum lashed out with her arm blades. Unfortunately, Metallo shrugged them off harmlessly.

'Is that all you got?' the villain snorted. 'C'mon babe, put up some kind of fight.'

'How about this?' Platinum sneered as she morphed one of her hands into a giant mallet and slugged Metallo on the chin, sending the villain smashing through an abandoned bus.

'Ooh, she's pretty and she's got the moves.' Metallo grinned as he got up from the ruined bus. 'All the pretty moves in the world aren't gonna help you now.'

'We'll see about that.' Platinum replied as she morphed her hands into a giant vice and picked Metallo up. 'You almost killed me when we first fought but I'm going to make sure you never get the chance!'

'W-wait…' Metallo asked, started to panic a little. 'Y-you're in the League. You guys don't kill…'

'I'm more of a probationary member.' Platinum responded as she began to squeeze the captured villain. 'I'm sure that the others won't mind if I kill just one villain. It's not like anybody'll miss you…'

With one final explosion of strength, Metallo burst out of Platinum's grip and slugged her on the chin.

'You don't have the guts!' Metallo snarled.

'Want a bet?' Platinum responded as she held out her arms as they began to morph.

Metallo gulped in fear as he watched the metallic heroin's arms change into miniguns.

'Now, I admit that at first I thought I could only morph my hands into simple stuff like knives and hammers, but I've learnt a few new tricks.'

The fight left Metallo as he began to back away.

'Just let me ask you one question…' Platinum said as she advanced on the villain. 'Do you feel lucky?'

Metallo made on last-ditch chance to attack Platinum s he charged at her with a yell. Unfortunately for Metallo, his charge was cut short as Platinum let rip with a barrage of bullets.

Metallo staggered backwards under the onslaught. He tried to defend himself but his opponent's attack kept on forcing him back. To add to Metallo's misfortune, his power cells were dangerously low.

Platinum halted her barrage as Metallo fell to his knees, his power cells drained under her onslaught.

'I'll get you _foooorrrr tttthhhiiisssss…_' Metallo slurred before falling to the ground, his power cells totally empty.

Platinum morphed her arms back to normal.

'Well, that was easy.' Platinum sniffed as she dusted off her hands and sat on the defeated villain. 'Just wait until Superman hears the news.'

'Greta googly-moogly on a stick!' Plastic Man yelped as he ran up with Red Tornado, having taken the civilians to safety. 'What did you do to the guy, Tina?'

'I showed him I wasn't just a pretty face, Plas.' Platinum smiled as she admired her nails.

'Metallo will not stay down for long.' Red Tornado explained. 'It will only take a moment for his Kryptonite power cells to recharge.'

'D'you think a bit of open heart surgery is n order?' Plas asked as he morphed into a surgeon, complete with mask. 'But I'd like to warn all of you, I'm not a doctor, I just play one on TV.'

Red Tornado just shook his head as he popped open Metallo's chest cavity and removed the Kryptonite within.

'Plastic Man, take the Kryptonite to STAR Labs.' Red Tornado ordered. 'Platinum and I will clean up here.'

'But I don't wanna…' Plas whined.

'Plas…' Platinum narrowed her eyes.

Plas backed away at his teammate's 'angry face' and did as he was told.

Platinum ad red Tornado watched as Plas changed into a sports car and zoomed off in the direction of STAR Labs.

'You just wanted to get rid of him, didn't you?' Platinum surmised.

'Perhaps…' Red Tornado replied.

'So, what do you wanna do now?' Platinum asked.

'I hear Metropolis has some great restaurants.' Red Tornado replied.

'Why ever would a robot want to go to a restaurant for?' Platinum blinked.

'Perhaps I should ask the same thing of you, Platinum.' Red Tornado responded.

Platinum just shook her head and linked her arm with his with a smile.

'This is gonna be the start of a great relationship…'

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: Poker with the Lanterns**

_A whole host of Green Lanterns guest star as John Stewart and Shayera hold a poker night in the Watchtower. Featuring: Killowog, Kyle Rayner, Guy Gardner, Katma Tui and the greatest Lantern of all… Hal Jordan!_


	15. Poker With the Lanterns

**The Uncanny Justice League**

**Chapter 15: Poker With the Lanterns**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to Marvel._

* * *

**Shout Outs-**

**Todd Fan- **_A poker chapter is always good for a few laughs._

**DarkKnight92- **_Yes, I have read Infinite Crisis #1. #2 as well. They're both good. I can't wait to see how it continues._

**Doza- **_Heh-heh. Dating robots. Random, non? You can always expect something random from me._

**Thanks to- **_The Elvish XBat Jedi_

* * *

**Quote of the day- **_'You may be a cunning linguist, but I am a master debater.'_

* * *

**Justice League Watchtower-**

The Justice League Watchtower was a hive of activity as John Stewart prepared for the monthly poker night between members of the Green Lantern Corps. Last month was Kilowog's turn to hold the game. For an alien, the guy sure knew how to party. Kilowog could drink Guy Gardner under the table!

John stood back and looked at the table that he had laid out with snacks and drinks. The Watchtower was a teetotal zone so there was no alcohol allowed, much to Guy's annoyance.

'There must be something I've forgotten…' John tapped his chin in thought. 'But what was it?'

'The cards and betting chips?' The winged Justice Leaguer known as Shayera Hol quipped as she handed John the aforementioned items. 'Y'know John, you'd forget your butt if it wasn't screwed on.'

'Real classy, Shayera.' John rolled his eyes. 'When is everybody supposed to arrive?'

'Just relax, John.' Shayera sighed as she pushed John down into his seat. 'The other Lanterns wouldn't miss the game for the world. It's against the law of the Guardians, or something.'

John turned his head as he heard knocking on the window.

'Yo John, you gonna let me in or what?' The redheaded Lantern and charter member of Justice League International known as Guy Gardner called via his Power Ring. 'I'll let you know that I'm missing Foxy Boxing on Skin-A-Max for this freakin' game.'

'Always a pleasure to see you, Guy.' John shook his head as he walked over to a nearby console and activated the portal to let his fellow Lantern in.

'Sweet.' Guy grinned as he looked around at the nearly empty Watchtower. 'I'm the first to get here. That means I get first dibs on the booze!'

'Uh, Guy… The Watchtower is an alcohol-free zone, remember?' Shayera pointed out.

'I told you we shoulda held the game at Warriors.' Guy sniffed.

'We can hold the next poker game at your bar, Guy.' John sighed. 'It's my turn to choose the venue and I chose the Watchtower.'

'You always were a stick-in-the-mud, Stewart.' Guy muttered as he took a seat and put his feet up on the table. 'At least tell me that we've got Doritos.'

'Flash ate the last bag.' John explained.

Guy punched the table in anger.

'Sonova…!'

* * *

**Later-**

All of the guests had arrived and had taken their places at the table. It was the turn of the host to deal first, so that meant that it was John first.

'Gardner, for the last time, stop staring at my breasts!' Katma Tui hissed. 'Unless you want to lose an appendage.'

'Hey, it's not my fault.' Guy shrugged innocently. 'I was looking in some random direction and your boobs just happened to be there.'

'Perhaps I should notify Ice of what you get up to on these poker nights, Gardner.' Katma Tui threatened.

Guy wisely chose to look elsewhere. Tora Olafsdotter, the Leaguer known as Ice, while cute and cuddly on the outside, had a jealous streak a mile wide. This streak usually manifested itself as a punch to Guy's gut, much to his fellow Leaguers' amusement. So you could see why it wasn't wise to upset her.

'That's a great girl you got there, Poozer.' The giant pink-skinned hippo-like Lantern known as Kilowog snickered. 'She may be a cutie, but she's got one Hell of a left hook.'

'Oh yeah, laugh it up, Hippo-Boy.' Guy sneered.

Kilowog rose up to his full imposing height and loomed over Guy.

'You wanna say that again?' The colossal Lantern frowned.

'Shutting up…' Guy grumbled as he gathered up his cards.

'Now, let's not come to blows over this…' The legendary Lantern known as Hal Jordan tried to calm everybody down. 'Let's keep this card game clean, okay?'

'Oh, I don't know about that, Hal.' The young human Lantern known as Kyle Rayner snickered. 'I always wanted to see who'd win a fight between Gardner and Kilowog.'

'Aww, bite me, kid.' Guy muttered. 'Let's just play the damn game, shall we?'

'And to think I thought this game was going to be boring.' Shayera chuckled as she shovelled a handful of chips in her mouth.

* * *

**Later still-**

The poker game had almost at an end. Everybody had given up apart from Guy and John. It was well known that the two Lanterns had a rivalry dating back to their training in the Corps. They were vying for the position as Hal Jordan's replacement after the older Lantern retired from service. It was a long and tiring test, but Guy soon won out by tripping his opponent up, which still caused tension to this day.

'You're going down, Stewart.' Guy grinned arrogantly. 'You never could beat me, not even during training.'

'That's because ya cheated, ya Poozer.' Kilowog chipped in. 'I'm surprised the Guardians didn't see it, or they woulda tossed yer ass out of the Corps.'

'Can I help it if Stewart lost his balance?' Guy retorted. 'And another thing, I wasn't the one making goo-goo eyes at the teacher.'

'I am loath to admit it, but Gardner is correct.' Katma Tui nodded. 'Relationships between trainers and junior Lanterns is forbidden. I am surprised that we were not expelled from the Corps.'

'My, my, you were a bad boy, John.' Shayera snickered. 'And people call you a straight-arrow.'

'Just shut up and show your hand, Gardner.' John narrowed his eyes.

'What's the matter, Stewart?' Guy leant back in his seat with an arrogant grin. 'The pressure gettin' to ya?'

'Guy, don't provoke him.' Hal shook his head. 'Just play your hand.'

'Geez…' Guy rolled his eyes. 'You guys sure seem eager for me to kick Stewart's butt.'

'Just put your damn cards down before I put _you_ down!' Shayera threatened, tapping her mace in her hand.

'Damn Thanagarians…' Guy muttered under his breath. 'I swear, gotta have permanent PMS or something…'

'What did you say?' Shayera growled.

'Nothing…' Guy quickly responded as he put his hand down on the table. 'Read 'em and weep, ladies. Guy Gardner is the wi…'

Guy never got to finish his boast as an alarm on one of the consoles went off, making everybody jump up in their seats.

John was the first one to the console. His face paled at the sight that greeted him.

'John, what is it?' Shayera asked concernedly as she ran up beside her partner.

'It's happened…' John blinked, barely believing his own words. 'It's finally happened. It's the end of the world…'

'Damn, Stewart…' Guy rolled his eyes as he joined John and Shayera up by the console. 'You always were such a drama qu… _Holy crap! _Look at all those prison breakouts! Stryker's in Metropolis, Arkham, Iron Heights, the Slab… Oh God… The Tower. I have to get back to London! Tora could be in trouble!'

'Well, that's or poker night gone for a bust.' Kilowog sighed. 'I better head off to. This is some crisis.'

'Not just any crisis…' Hal shook his head. 'It's a crisis of infinite proportions!'

* * *

**Metropolis-**

Superman was on patrol with Supergirl and Superboy. That was until the trio were blasted out of the sky by a laser beam.

'What the fudge?' Superboy coughed as he dusted himself off. 'Who did that?'

'That would be me, maggot.' A shiny red and blue figure responded. 'Now, drop and gimmie twenty! Or will I have to go atomic on your punk ass?'

'Major Force…' Superman narrowed his eyes in anger. 'I've read your file. You're insane.'

'And you're gonna be dead in a sec.' Major Force responded.

'Leave some for me, Major.' A feminine voice purred. 'I wanna have fun, too.'

'And what about me?' Another voice gurgled. 'I wanna have a piece of the blonde chick.'

'Star Sapphire! Clayface!' Superman growled. 'What are you doing here?'

'Taking over the world, Blue.' Clayface grinned in reply. 'And we've had orders to take you Super-Freaks out.'

'It looks like the walking snot pile's mine then.' Supergirl sighed.

'And I get to party with the babe.' Superboy grinned. 'Oh yeah!'

* * *

**Las Vegas-**

Several miles below the Nevada desert, the Suicide Squaddies known as Cheshire and Deadshot ran to the control room as alarms blared all through the complex that consisted of their headquarters.

'What the hell is going on here?' Deadshot asked as he ran up to his fellow Squaddies.

'Everything's hit the fan, mate.' Captain Boomerang responded. 'There's been mass breakouts all over the shop.'

'Well, it looks like we're in for the fight of our lives.' Giganta added. 'Just the way I like it.'

Deadshot turned to Cheshire with a concerned look on his face.

'Jade, you have to stay here. It won't be safe for you otherwise. Think of the baby…'

'I'm not going to let you go out there without me, Floyd.' Cheshire shook her head. 'We're in this together and if we're going to die, I want to die by your side. That's why we're called the Suicide Squad, right?'

'That's my girl.' Deadshot gave the Vietnamese assassin a quick kiss. 'Let's go kick some ass, people!'

* * *

**Gotham City-**

Batman, Robin, Nightwing, and Batgirl had been called to the breakout at Arkham Asylum. They were presently trying to track down the inmates with as little civilian casualties as possible.

'Holy geez!' Robin yelped as he landed on the roof of an Italian restaurant. 'Those guy's aren't your usual Gotham fare!'

'Sinestro, Captain Cold and Volcana…' Batman noted. 'Not necessarily known for their teamwork skills.'

'Cold's rarely seen outside Central City.' Nightwing added. 'He's one of the Flash's Rogues. Why is he in Gotham?'

'I guess we're about to find out.' Batgirl shrugged. 'Let's go run them out of our city!'

And this is how it went, hoards of supervillains striking all over the world. Central City, Metropolis, Gotham, London, Las Vegas, Steel City, Boston… The Justice League, Suicide Squad and Titans East all had their hands full.

Diana, Donna Troy, and Cheetah had to contend with Captain Nazi, Copperhead, and Live Wire in Boston. Titans East were taking on Cinderblock, Plasmus, and Killer Moth. The Flash and his allies had Metallo, Poison Ivy, and the Shade in Central City. Justice League International was tackling Mistress Mary, Weather Wizard, and Scarecrow in London.

* * *

**The Society's Satellite-**

Many miles above the Earth, cloaked from sight of the Justice League Watchtower, was a satellite that housed the brains behind all the chaos on the planet below.

Lex Luthor, Gorilla Grodd and Deathstroke the Terminator watched the action on the screens in front of them.

'Well, I'd say that our plan was a success.' Deathstroke smiled beneath his mask.

'What do you mean _our_ plan?' Grodd frowned. 'It was _I _who planned everything.'

'Whatever.' Deathstroke shrugged. 'I've got business in Vegas anyway. I owe Lawton and Nguyen a visit…'

'And I should pay the Flash a visit.' Grodd nodded.

'I may as well visit the alien.' Luthor sighed as he strapped himself into his Kryptonite-fuelled battle suit. 'Off to Metropolis I go…'

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: A Crisis of Infinite Proportions**

_Everything hits the fan as the Society makes their move. Who will die and who will live? Trust me, there will be casualties on _both_ sides. Tune in next time to find out…_


	16. Reloaded

**Uncanny Justice League: Reloaded**

**Chapter 16: Reloaded**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to DC._

* * *

**Author's Notes- **_Technically, I should be writing my own Crisis story, but I decided against that idea. I doubt my Crisis would be as good as the official one and would seem like it was an attempt to cash in on its success. I decided to keep to my strengths: Fluff, bad jokes and a sprinkling of action. Who knows, I may come back to this Crisis idea…_

* * *

**Justice League Watchtower-**

It was a typical day on board the space station that housed the headquarters' of the earth's mightiest heroes. Every Leaguer went about their different jobs. Steel and Green Lantern were tinkering with the Javelins in the hangar bay. The Javelins had all been acting up recently. Rumour was it that certain Leaguers (read: Batman and Wonder Woman) had been using them as their own love pads.

'I don't even want to think what this smudge is on the windscreen.' John Stewart shuddered as his Power Ring conjured a bucket and sponge.

'It looks like a butt print to me.' Steel suggested.

John just shot the armoured hero with a glare.

'But the question is, whose butt was it?' Steel smirked.

'Tell me again why I chose this particular job…' John groaned.

'Because you couldn't resist Shayera's beautiful blue eyes.' Steel teased. 'I swear, you are _so_ under her thumb.'

John groaned into his hands.

'I knew I should have taken monitor duty…'

* * *

**The Cafeteria-**

While several of the Leaguers were busy doing their own odd jobs, several more were in the cafeteria waiting until it was their turn to be called upon to do whichever odd jobs J'onn needed them to do.

Presently. The Flash was holding court boasting about his latest victory against one of his Rogues while Red Tornado, Platinum, Captain Marvel, Supergirl, and Zatanna listened on.

'Then, this is the best bit, I said to Captain Cold…'

'I thought it was Killer Frost…' Supergirl said.

'No, it can't be her.' Zatanna shook her head. 'Frost's reformed now.'

'Being a member of the Suicide Squad isn't my definition of being reformed.' Platinum sniffed as she rested her head on Red Tornado's shoulder.

'You should not be too judgemental, 'Tina…' Red Tornado told his robotic friend sagely. 'Or have you forgotten that I was created for evil means?'

'Excuse me!' The Flash piped up, his hands on his hips. 'I believe I was telling you a story…'

'I'm still happy to hear you story, Flash.' Captain Marvel smiled helpfully.

'Glad to see somebody's paying attention.' Flash sighed. 'So, there I was. Toe-to-toe with Killer Frost…'

'I thought it was Captain Cold…' Captain Marvel blinked.

* * *

**The gym-**

Meanwhile, in the gym, Wonder Woman and Batman were doing a little sparring. Diana was more than happy to spar with the Dark Knight, as she had recently regained the rights to the Wonder Woman name. Hippolyta, queen of the Amazons and Diana's mother, had rescinded the ruling that Diana should give up the mantle, much to Diana's glee. Artemis, the Amazon who had taken Diana's place as Wonder Woman, had a few choice words to say before giving up the mantle. But they just fell on deaf ears.

Diana pulled herself out of the hold that Batman had her in and threw him over her shoulder in a judo throw.

'You should have learnt now that you cannot possibly hold me in a poor hold like that.' Diana chuckled. 'You are getting predictable, Bruce.'

'And you are getting overconfident, princess.' Batman retorted as he lashed out with a sweep kick.

Diana simply somersaulted backwards and easily avoided the move.

'Still no luck, I'm afraid.' Diana shot her friend an apologetic smile. 'Perhaps you should try again.'

Batman followed that up with a somersault of his own that positioned him behind Diana. The Amazon princess tried to turn to meet her opponent, but ended up having her feet swept out from under her.

'Do you submit now?' Batman asked as he held Diana's arms tightly over her throat in a criss-cross pattern.

'I never submit, Bruce.' Diana tutted. 'You should know that.'

Batman's breath was forcibly ejected form his lungs as Diana elbowed him in the guy and swept his own feet form under him. She then straddled his waist and held his arms against the mat, making sure that he had no escape.

'Hmm, I win again.' Diana smiled slightly. 'You really are getting slow in your old age.'

'You have developed quite the boastful streak ever since your sister arrived.' **(1) **Bruce remarked.

'Are you saying that Donna is a bad influence?' Diana frowned slightly.

'Not necessarily…' Batman replied. 'There are some new changes that I have seen in you that I've liked…'

'Such as…?' Diana asked, her curiosity piqued.

'Well…'

'Aww, for crying out loud! Will you two just get a room!'

Diana and Batman both leapt apart at the voice. Green arrow and Black Canary were standing in the doorway of the gym.

'This gym isn't a knocking shop, y'know, Bats.' Green Arrow groused. 'If it ain't leaving your butt prints on the Javelin windscreens, it's gettin' up to adult situations in here. You guys make me wanna puke!'

'Oh, give them a break, Ollie.' Black Canary rolled her eyes. 'Or do you want me to tell them what we got up to in the Arrow Plane…?'

Green Arrow's eyes grew wide.

'You wouldn't…' Green Arrow then looked at his friend's evil grin. 'You would…'

* * *

**The Monitor Room-**

Superman was sitting in the monitor room keeping an eye on the goings on of the planet far below. Thankfully, the various super villains that the Justice League invariably faced were behaving themselves and there was only a need for a minimal amount of Leaguers to quell skirmishes and the like. Hawkgirl was presently planet-side with Aquaman, Firestorm and Gypsy. The Royal Flush Gang were up to their old tricks and J'onn wanted it to be seen to as soon as possible.

Superman leant back in his seat and rubbed his eyes. He should really be preparing for his upcoming wedding. The day was fast approaching and Superman wanted to make sure that it went off without a hitch. Yeah. Like _that_ was going to happen. Knowing his luck, one of his Rogues would most probably catch the bouquet.

Superman let out a heavy sigh. It would soon be time for one of his fellow Leaguers to take over monitor duty. If his memory served him correct, which it usually would, it was the Atom's turn for monitor duty.

Superman wanted to have a word with the size-changing scientist before he started his monitor duty. There had been rumours that he had been seeing Encantadora in a more than friendly capacity.

Now, Superman wasn't one to hold a grudge, unless you were Lex Luthor or Darkseid, but somebody dating a woman that was once responsible for almost killing him kind of made him nervous. **(2)**

To be fair, it had been a weird time recently for the Justice League. Diana had lost her mantle as Wonder Woman, only to regain it again. A team of villains had reformed to become the new Suicide Squad. The League hadn't yet come up against the new Squad but it was only a matter of time.

'Uch. I need coffee…' Superman groaned as he got up off his seat and stretched his aching back. Fortunately enough, the Atom soon arrived for his turn at monitor duty.

'Hey there, Superman.' The Atom smiled. 'Flash said you wanted to tell me something.'

'No talk.' Superman replied. 'Time for coffee.'

The Atom jus blinked at that.

'Somebody has a serious caffeine addiction…'

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: Flash and the Arrow**

_The Flash teams up with Green Arrow to take on The Top and Weather Wizard. 'Nuff said._


	17. Flash and the Arrow

**Uncanny Justice League**

**Chapter 17: Flash and the Arrow**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to DC._

* * *

**Justice League Watchtower-**

It was business as usual in the Justice League Watchtower. The Flash was in his usual place in the cafeteria. What was quite unusual was the fact that he wasn't holding court while he was telling his fellow Leaguers of his latest defeat of his Rogues. Green Arrow had already stolen his sport, and was regaling Supergirl, Captain Marvel, Platinum, and Red Tornado with a tale of the 'good old days'.

'So there Hal, Barry, and I were. We were struck on an alien planet surrounded by hostiles. Hal's power ring had all but run out of power, Barry had just been shot in the leg, and I was seriously running low on arrows...'

'Look at them...' Flash snorted as he pointed at the Emerald Archer and his adoring audience. 'They make me wanna retch!'

'Oh, I don't know...' Wonder Woman shrugged. 'I find Green Arrow's stories to be quite interesting.'

'I should be standing there with an adoring audience! Not that Robin Hood wannabe!'

'You are just bored because you don't have anybody to fight.' Wonder Woman pointed out. 'You always get like this when your Rogues are all incarcerated.'

'Can't I borrow any of your bad guys?' Flash asked his Amazon friend. 'Surely there must be somebody that needs their butt getting kicked in Boston.'

'None that I know of.' Wonder Woman replied. 'Most of my villains have more-or-less reformed. Cheetah is now living with me and is dating Wildcat, and Giganta has joined the Suicide Squad. I have no idea where Circe is, however. Perhaps you would like to look for her?'

Flash gulped nervously. He had heard stories of Circe. Like the time she turned Wonder Woman in to a pig. He tried to get as much gossip out of Zatanna as he could, but the magician had been mysteriously tight-lipped about the whole thing.

'Uhh no, I think I'll stick to my Rogues, thank you.' Flash smiled nervously.

'If you say so.' Wonder Woman shrugged. 'I would love to stay and talk some more, but Batman and I have another training session together.'

'Just remember to clean up after yourselves, this time...' Flash called after her. 'Yesterday I nearly slipped up on some massage oil!'

'Massage oil?' Wonder Woman blinked nervously. 'W-what massage oil...?'

Wonder Woman was spared any more embarrassment as J'onn gave Flash a telepathic call.

'Flash, please report to the monitor room immediat...'

Flash zipped off before J'onn could even finish the sentence.'

'ly...' J'onn blinked at Flash's sudden appearance. 'Well, that certainly was immediate.' The Martian commented.

'So, what's the what, J'onn?' Flash wondered out loud. 'Have you got a top secret mission that only I could hope to deal with?'

'The Top and Weather Wizard have escaped from Iron Heights.' J'onn explained simply. 'It is all over the news.'

Flash turned to watch the monitor screens. One screen showed Flash's girlfriend, Linda Park, reporting from Iron Heights, Central City's very own metahuman containment facility.

'Well, I was planning on painting my nails, but I guess it's my responsibility to get down there and defend my city.' Flash quipped. 'Beam us down, J'onny...'

'You cannot leave yet...' J'onn pointed out. 'You know the League rules. You must be accompanied by another fellow Leaguer.'

'Aww, man!' Flash groused. 'That rule bites! I bet Batman never has to have help with him!'

'Far from it, actually...' J'onn corrected. 'He is usually assisted by Wonder Woman.'

Flash rubbed the bridge of his nose.

'_Please_ tell me that I don't have to take Green Arrow with me. There's only so many _'in my day...' _stories I can take...'

J'onn just looked back at Flash, unreadable as ever.

Flash hung his head in resolution.

'I hate my life...'

* * *

**Central City-**

Flash and Green Arrow appeared in a burst of light as they were teleported down to Central City. The whole place was pretty much a ruin. Cars had been tossed over, and there were even a few fires blazing away.

'Does this place usually look like this?' Green Arrow raised a mask-covered eyebrow.

'No talk.' Flash told the Emerald Archer dismissedly. 'Hero time.'

Before Green Arrow could even make a move to grab a fire extinguisher arrow, Flash had already zipped around the fires and put them out.

'Well, colour me impressed.' Green Arrow sniffed as he put his arrow back in the quiver. 'You'd make Barry proud, kid.'

'Yeah, thanks for that.' Flash waved it away. 'We have to find the Top and Weather Wizard before people die.'

'Wow. Awfully businesslike, aren't we?' Green Arrow chuckled.

Flash just narrowed his eyes and glared at the Emerald Archer.

'Now isn't the time for patting each other's back. We have to find the Rogues!'

Fortunately, the two heroes didn't have to go very far as the sky above their heads began to darken, storm clouds looming ominously.

'Aww, doesn't it make you feel all warm and fuzzy, people asking after you like this?' Weather Wizard smirked.

'Yeah. Real warm and fuzzy.' The Top muttered as he spun up to his fellow Rogue.

Weather Wizard, real name Mark Mardon, was a two-bit thief until he killed his brother and stole the weather-controlling technology that he had just invented. Mardon then used that technology to create a control wand that he used to manipulate the weather and donned a green costume to become the Wicked Weather Wizard!

The Top, real name Roscoe Dillon, was one of the Flash's oldest Rogues. Dillon had even been around when Wally's uncle was the Flash. Dillon had stayed young and fresh by the fact that he had actually possessed the body of a dodgy US Senator. Dillon had the ability to spin himself at super-speed. He also had limited telekinetic skills when spinning.

Green Arrow swiftly took out an arrow and aimed it at the two villains.

'Give it up now, guys...' Green Arrow warned. 'Or I'll have to get nasty.'

'Ooh. The archer's making threats.' Weather Wizard snickered. 'I'm _sooo _scared. What do you say I zap him with a lightning bolt?'

'Knock yourself out.' The Top shrugged. 'The Flash is mine!'

'Bring it, Dillon.' Flash challenged. 'I'm not scared of you.'

'Oh, you will be.' The Top grinned ominously. 'You will be...'

And with that, they all leapt in to attack. Weather Wizard held himself aloft with a gust of wind while he conjured lighting from the sky up above. Green Arrow tried to dodge as best he could, but was fighting a losing battle. He could hardly find any room to let off any arrows. As soon as he paused to nock one into his bow, Weather Wizard sent down another lightning bolt.

The Flash and the Top meanwhile, were spinning around each other at an alarming speed. It was a close battle, but it looked like the Top was winning. The Rogue's yellow-and-green striped costume helped to disconcert his opponent.

Green Arrow finally managed to nock an arrow into his bow. Unfortunately, that pause gave Weather Wizard enough time to call down another lightning bolt. The bolt hit the Emerald Archer square in the chest, sending him crashing into an abandoned car.

'Arrow!' Flash yelled in concern. 'Aww, crap. Canary's gonna kill me if he's dead!'

'You would do well to worry about yourself, Flash.' The Top smirked as he spun up to the Scarlet Speedster. The Rogue then lashed out with a massive punch that laid the Flash out flat.

'Well, I don't know about you, but I found that rather... anticlimactic.' Weather Wizard sniffed.

'These heroes think they're all that.' The Top muttered. 'But they're not.'

'D'you think they're really dead?' Weather Wizard wondered out loud as he poked Green Arrow with his foot.

'There's only one way to find out...' The Top replied as he began to spin again. 'Cut them to shre-AAAAHHHH!'

The Top's boasts were cut short as he was blasted square in the chest by a beam of green energy. Weather Wizard did a double take at the sight.

'Who the _hell_ are you?' The weather-manipulating Rogue hissed angrily. 'We don't ned no Green Lantern messing with us!'

'I'm your worst nightmare, poozer!'

**TBC...**

* * *

**Next: Damn Poozers**

_Who is Flash and Green Arrow's mysterious Lantern-like saviour? Tune in next time to find out, poozers!_


	18. Damn Poozers

**Uncanny Justice League**

**Chapter 18: Damn Poozers**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to DC._

* * *

**Central City-**

The villains known as the Top and Weather Wizard stood agape at the green and black-clad figure that hovered before them.

'What's the matter, poozers?' The Bolovaxian Green Lantern known as Kilowog smirked. 'You never seen a Lantern before?'

'Go back to your waterhole, Jumbo.' The Top sneered. 'This is personal business. The Flash and the Arrow are gonna get theirs.'

'Not on my watch...'

The Top was about to tell the Lantern where he could stick it, but was blasted off his feet by an energy beam from Kilowog's Power Ring.

Weather Wizard turned to Kilowog with an angry glare.

'Dillon may have been an arrogant jerk, but he was one of the Rogues, dammit! If you cross one, you cross us all!'

'Thanks for the advice, poozer. I'll take that under advisement.' Kilowog replied, not intimidated in the least.

Weather Wizard tried to lift himself into the air upon a gust of wind, but ended up getting slammed to the ground by a giant green mallet.

'Ooooh. Did anybody get the number of that truck?' The Top groaned as he got up to his feet unsteadily.

The Top's eyes widened in surprise as he saw his fellow Rogue get flattened by a green energy mallet.

'Oh, you're going down, Lantern!'

The Top barely had enough time to reach full speed when he collided with a green energy wall. His face smashed into the wall with a wet crunch. The Top let out a yell of pain as blood spurted out from his nose.

'Ooh, that looks like a nasty wound, poozer.' Kilowog remarked with false concern. 'How about I give you a band-aid for it?'

The Top was about to reply when he was flattened against the ground by a giant green band-aid.

'Rrrr! Get me out of here!' The Top demanded as he struggled to escape.

Kilowog knelt down beside the subdued Rogue.

'What's the magic word?'

The Top just replied with a torrent of abuse. Most of his insults concerned sexual acts with Kilowog's mother.

Now, Kilowog liked to think that he had a hold on his temper, but _nobody_ insulted his mother. Not a rogue Green Lantern or an extra-dimensional dictator, and certainly not a second-rate villain like the Top.

The Top gulped nervously as Kilowog growled in anger.

* * *

**Gotham City-**

Helena Bertinelli, the vigilante known as the Huntress, stretched with a tired groan. She had just awoken from a nap she had taken after a marathon lovemaking session with her boyfriend, Vic Sage, also known as the conspiracy nut called the Question.

'Mmm... Q, you there? Q?' Helena frowned slightly. The other side of her bed was vacant. Vic was no longer there.

'Dammit, Q...' Helena muttered to herself. 'You just couldn't resist rooting out some conspiracy, could you?'

Helena wrapped a sheet around herself and headed to the space in the apartment that Vic used to pin up his notes.

Sure enough, Vic was fully dressed and rearranging his notes.

'Hmm... Elvis is alive and working at a pharmacist in Arkansas...' Vic muttered to himself. 'No, that isn't right... A-ha! I've got it! How could I have been so blind? Bendis has joined forces with the geography teachers of Great Britain to steal the world's supply of Chocolate HobNobs!' **(1)**

'I knew those geography teachers were up to something.' Helena commented dryly as she leant against the doorframe.

Vic turned from his notes to look at his vigilante girlfriend.

'I'm in trouble, aren't I?'

'Only if you don't get your butt back to bed right away.' Helena remarked as she leant in to take a look at Vic's notes. Sme smiled slightly when she noticed one particular note. 'Heh. Look at that. Girl Scout Cookies are laced with cocaine. No wonder I couldn't eat just one.' **(2)**

'Take a look at this one...' Vic said as he plucked a note from the board.

Helena took the note and read it out loud.

'Clark Kent is Superman.'

Helena frowned slightly at the note.

'A tad presumptuous, aren't you, Q?'

'Look at it this way...' Vic tried to explain. 'Have you ever seen Kent and Superman in the same place, at the same time?'

'I haven't seen you in the same place at the same time as Wonder Woman.' Helena pointed out. 'But that doesn't mean that I think you make out with Batman.'

Vic picked up a picture of Superman and a ballpoint pen.

'Believe me or not, just take a look at this...'

Helena watched as Vic proceeded to draw a pair of glasses on the picture.

'Oh. My. God.' Helena could barely believe her eyes. The similarities were uncanny!

Helena then snorted in derision.

'Heh. Your mind is playing tricks on you, Q. Now c'mon, get your butt into bed.'

'Not even one more tiny little conspiracy theory?' Vic asked.

'Q...' Helena frowned.

Vic bowed his head like a child who had just been scolded by a parent.

'Yes ma'am.'

* * *

**Central City-**

Meanwhile, back in Central City, Kilowog was taking his time with the Top and Weather Wizard.

'I love beating poozers in the morning...' The hippo-like Green Lantern sang as he formed two green hand with his Power Ring and smacked the Rogues heads together. 'I love beating poozers when the sun begins to shiiiiine...'

Not very far away, the Flash began to regain consciousness.

'Aww, man. My head feels like Darkseid's been playing hopscotch on it...'

Flash blinked the bleariness from his eyes. He couldn't help but smirk at the sight of Kilowog beating the snot out of The Top and Weather Wizard. Okay, they were his Rogues, but it was a pleasure to watch Kilowog at work.

'I'm confused!' **(3)**

Flash did a double-take at Green Arrow's sudden outburst as the Emerald Archer woke up.

'Welcome to the land of the living, buddy.' Flash smirked.

'Shouldn't _we_ be fighting the bad guys?' Green Arrow frowned as he rubbed his head.

'I think they've had enough trouble as it is.' Flash snickered as he indicated the scene behind him.

Green Arrow blinked in surprise at the sight of Kilowog pounding on the two Rogues.

'Don't you think we should stop this?'

'Do you wanna tell Kilowog that?' Flash offered.

'Perhaps not.' Green Arrow shook his head.

Flash scratched the back of his neck. Uncomfortable silences were a bitch.

Green Arrow was the first to break the silence.

'So... coffee?'

Flash sighed thankfully.

'I thought you'd never ask.'

**TBC...**

* * *

**Next: Birds of Prey**

_It's that time again! Black Canary and Huntress team-up! Dr Light gets beaten up! Green Arrow and the Question stay home! Wackiness! Fun! Spoons!_

* * *

**Author's Notes-**

**(1)- **_Behold my powers of anti-Bendis propaganda, hatred of geography and my addiction to Chocolate HobNobs!_

**(2)- **_Adapted from '_National Lampoon's Loaded Weapon 1'

**(3)- **_Gratuitous Alan Partridge reference. Smell my cheese, you mothers!_


	19. Birds of Prey

**Uncanny Justice League**

**Chapter 19: Birds of Prey**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to DC._

* * *

**Gotham City-**

It was a typical night in the wretched hive of scum and villainy known as Gotham City. The city's local vigilantes were out doing their thing. Batman and his associates were investigating a spate of thefts of feline statues. It was easy to think who was stealing them. The crimes ad Catwoman's paw-prints all over them.

Apart from Batman and his associates, Gotham City had more protectors. The Justice Leaguer known as Black Canary could often be found patrolling the city whenever she wasn't on League business, or in Star City getting up to adult situations with Green Arrow. Dinah Laurel Lance was born and raised in Gotham, and damn proud of it too.

The blonde vigilante surveyed the streets below her through a pair of binoculars. She was hoping for some action tonight. That was unless Batman and his merry band of chums had already taken care of all the crime in the city already.

Dinah breathed a sigh of relief as she saw a shifty-looking van pull up outside a WayneTech warehouse. The van certainly wasn't one of the usual vehicles that ferried to-and-fro from the warehouse. Dinah was pretty sure about that.

Dinah put her binoculars away and prepared for action.

Down below, unaware of the impending butt-kicking, several figures got out of the van. They soon moved out of the way as the gang's leader stepped out.

He was dressed in a black costume with a light bulb emblazoned on the front, white gloves and a white cloak. His goateed face bent in an evil grin. Dr Light was in town!

'Be quiet, you fools!' Dr Light snapped impatiently at his lackeys. 'We don't want any of the city's vigilantes dropping in on us.'

The thugs went about their business. The threat of one of Gotham's vigilantes dropping in on them was a great thing for inspiration.

'Come on, you fools!' Dr Light hissed, really wanting to get on to other business. 'Get a move on! Time is money!'

'Didn't your mothers ever tell you not to take anything that didn't belong to you?'

Dr Light and his lackeys all turned as one at the sound of the voice.

'Dammit! We've been discovered!' Dr Light cursed. 'Kill them!'

'Aww, don't you want to play?' Dinah pouted adorably as she leapt forwards and kicked one thug in the face.

'Kill her!' Dr Light ordered. 'Kill her, dammit!'

The thugs did as they were told and moved in to attack. Several pulled out guns.

'Oh boy. _This_... is gonna be fun.' Dinah smirked as she prepared to let rip with her Canary Cry.

* * *

**Justice League Watchtower-**

Meanwhile, in the space-borne home of the World's Greatest heroes, one of their newest, and youngest, members was hanging out with some of her new teammates.

Princess Koriand'r of Tameran, known as Starfire to the general public, was more than happy to accept a place in the League. Ever since she had left the Teen Titans, Starfire had been looking for something to do with herself. The time she had spent apart from the Teen Titans had not been easy. Starfire had to adjust to life on Earth in an unfamiliar city. Manhattan was quite different from Jump City. Fortunately, Starfire had befriended one of the city's local heroes. Shayera Hol was more than happy to help a fellow alien in need. Okay, their races weren't exactly friends, but Shayera couldn't just stand by and let the poor alien girl suffer on her own. That was why Shayera sponsored Starfire for League membership. It would help her forget all her troubles. There was still the reason why Starfire quit the Teen Titans. Shayera was sure that it had something to do with Nightwing, Batman's former protégé when he was known as Robin. But Shayera didn't like to pry, so she left it at that.

All in all, Starfire had grown with Shayera's help. She was no longer the naive alien girl that was still unsure of human customs. Okay, Starfire still thought of mustard as a beverage and had a mutant silkworm for a pet, but she had adjusted well to life on her own.

Starfire was presently sitting in the cafeteria with Shayera, Stargirl and Captain Marvel. As usual, she was chowing down on a mint frosting pizza with a nice cool mug of mustard to wash it down.

'So Kory, how are you enjoying your time in the League so far?' Star Girl asked. 'I bet it's nothing like working with the Teen Titans.'

Starfire was about to reply when she was interrupted by the Flash and Steel fighting over pizza.

'Vegetarian combo!'

'Double pepperoni meat feast!'

'_VEGETARIAN COMBO!'_

'_DOUBLE PEPPERONI MEAT FEAST!'_

'Working with the League of Justice is... unusual.' Starfire commented. 'I miss my Titan friends, but now I have new friends. I just wish that my time here will be as joyous as it was with the Teen Titans.'

'I'm sure that you'll do just fine, Starfire.' Captain Marvel reassured the alien. 'I felt the same way when I was first called up for duty. Heck, I still get butterflies in my stomach when I'm in the same room as Superman.'

'Well, I guess it's time for me to leave.' Shayera apologised as she got up from her seat. 'I'm gonna say goodbye to the guys, then I'm gonna head on home.'

'Oh. Will you stop by my apartment, please?' Starfire asked. 'I am worried about Silkie. I Have not been away for him for this long before. I do not want him to worry.'

'Sure thing, Kory.' Shayera nodded. 'See you guys later, okay?'

'Seeya Shay.' Stargirl nodded.

'Goodbye Ms Hol.' Captain Marvel smiled politely.

Once Shayera had gone, Star Girl turned back to Starfire.

'Do you really have a pet mutant silkworm?' The young heroine asked in disbelief. 'I thought that was just a rumour.'

'Oh. Silkie is much more than a pet.' Starfire pointed out. 'He is one of my most loyal friends. Would you like to see some photographs?'

'Sure.' Stargirl shrugged. 'I guess it wouldn't hurt.'

Starfire fished out her purse and rolled out a long stream of photos. All of them were of Silkie.

Stargirl and Captain Marvel both looked astonished.

Captain Marvel was the first one to break the silence.

'Holy moley!'

* * *

**Gotham City-**

Back in Gotham City, Black Canary was having the time of her life. There was nothing she enjoyed more than kicking the butts of random thugs.

'_EEEEEEEEEEE!' _

More thugs were knocked on their butts as Dinah let rip with her Canary Cry. Unfortunately, Dr Light was a little more formidable than his lackeys. It would take a lot more than a puny sonic cry to take him down.

'Woman, you are making a fool of yourself!' Dr Light sneered. 'I have taken on the Teen Titans and lived to tell the tale!'

'Yeah, you also peed your pants when Raven went medieval on your skanky ass.' Dinah pointed out. 'Getting your butt kicked by a girl. Sucks to be you. And oen more thing? The other Dr Light **(1) **does this _so_ much better than you. She's never had her ass kicke dby a bunch of kids either.'

'You _dare_ to mock _me?' _Dr Light snarled. 'You will soon learn the error of mocking Dr Light!'

'And now were talking in the third person.' Dinah groaned. 'Cuz that's always the funnest!'

'_SILENCE!_' Dr Light demanded as he began to glow. 'I will kill you, then I will show the whole Justice League that Dr Light cannot be beaten!'

'Geez, denial much?'

Dr Light whirled around to glare at the new arrival.

'Curses! The League continues to hound my every move!'

'Canary.' Huntress nodded as she hopped down from her perch atop a nearby fire escape.

'Huntress.' Dinah nodded back.

'Mind if I cut in?' Huntress inquired.

'Help yourself.' Dinah shrugged as she kicked a thug that had just regained consciousness. 'I was just mopping up anyway.'

Huntress brought her twin crossbows to bear with an evil grin.

'Okay then Doc, what are your feelings on body-piercing?'

**TBC...**

* * *

Next: Not So Joyous

_Starfire gets her first mission with the Justice League. Unfortunately, she, Shayera, Stargirl, and Captain Marvel must go to Blüdhaven, the city protected byStarfire's ex-boyfriend, Nightwing! Also: More from Black Canary and Huntress!_

* * *

**Author's Notes-**

**(1)- **_Dinah is of course referring to Dr Kimiyo Hoshi, the other Dr Light. Y'know, the Japanese one._

_Also, for those of you that don't know, the Starfire in this story is indeed the same one form the teen Titans cartoon, but she is older. If you couldn't tell from the fact that this verison of Starfire has a taste for drinking mustard, and has a mutant silkworm for a pet, then you are a klorbag varblurn elk._


	20. Not So Joyous

**Uncanny Justice League**

**Chapter 20: Not So Joyous**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to DC._

* * *

**R-Man's Random Fact- **_Tameranians evolved from cats._

* * *

**Justice League Watchtower-**

It was business as usual in the headquarters of the Justice League. J'onn J'onzz was in his usual place assigning the other Leaguers assignments.

'The Royal Flush Gang has appeared in Monaco.' J'onn announced. 'Green Arrow, Plastic Man, Gypsy, Zatanna, and Orion, that's your job...'

'You heard the man, people...' Green Arrow called out as led his team over to the teleport pads. 'Let's go kick some butt!'

That left Shayera, Captain Marvel, Stargirl, and Starfire.

Starfire looked around them with a slight frown.

'We do not appear to have been sent on a mission.' The Tameranian princess pointed out. 'J'onn has not forgotten us, has he?'

'Far from it, Starfire...' J'onn replied. 'I was waiting to assign you to a mission once I had dealt with the other League members.'

'Ooh.' Star Girl grinned. 'It sounds like you've got a personal mission, Kory.'

'I assume that you are all familiar with the city of Blüdhaven...' J'onn began.

'I am familiar with it.' Starfire nodded. 'Why, what is wrong?'

'It appears that the city's crime underworld has been in disarray ever since Roland Desmond was forcibly ejected from being top crimelord.' **(1)**

'That's putting it lightly, J'onn.' Shayera chuckled. 'His penthouse was blown to bits and all of his enforcers were slaughtered.'

'That does not take away from the fact that we have been asked for help.' J'onn continued. 'It appears that the Penguin has attempted to fill the vacuum left after Desmond's... expulsion. he has his own metahuman enforcers, just as Desmond did before him...'

The four leaguers all looked up at the screen as pictures of several figures appeared on them. The first picture on the screen was of a large man with an evilly-grinning skull face bathed in radioactive green flames.

'I take it you are all familiar with Joseph Martin.' J'onn stated.

'I've read Black Canary's report on him after that business with Roulette and that Metabrawl thing.' Captain Marvel nodded. 'He also goes by the name of the Atomic Skull. He has superhuman strength and can emit powerful radioactive blasts.'

Next up on the screen were a pair of women, one a Latino brunette, the other a Caucasian blonde. They were both shown brandishing handguns and were dressed in skimpy lingerie for some reason.

'This next pair of female assassins are known as the Body Doubles.' J'onn continued. 'Their real names are Bonny Hoffman, and Carmen Leno. Hoffman is the daughter of an east Coast mob boss, while Leno is a former adult film star and exotic dancer...'

'Strippers with guns.' Stargirl rolled her eyes. 'Lovely.'

J'onn continued with the briefing. The next figure up on the screen was a monstrous moth-like figure.

'I recognise him!' Starfire piped up. 'His name is Killer Moth! He once tried to destroy Jump City with giant mutant moths. He also has a daughter.' The Tameranian scowled at the memory of the girl known as Kitten. 'I did not like her. She called Robin _Poo_.'

The final figure up on the screen was a scrawny little man wearing some kind of orange snake costume.

'This is Copperhead.' J'onn explained. 'He is an old foe of the Justice League. He used to be affiliated with Lex Luthor's Injustice Gang, but has apparently gone freelance.'

'If that's all J'onn, I think we'd better get down there and deal with the Penguin before he causes too much trouble.'

'Your contact will meet you once you arrive in Blüdhaven.' J'onn told them.

'But how will we know what this contact looks like?' Captain Marvel asked.

'I believe that I know who our contact is to be...' Starfire sighed heavily. 'I did not think that I would see him again so soon...'

'Why, what's the trouble, Kory?' Stargirl wondered 'It's not as if this guy's your ex-boyfriend or anything...'

Stargirl's mouth fell open as she saw Starfire's nervous expression.

'Oh boy...' Stargirl groaned. 'This is gonna suck. Awkward reunions are always so... well, awkward.'

Starfire didn't say a single word as the quartet of Leaguers took their places on the teleporter pads and beamed down to the Earth below.

* * *

**Blüdhaven-**

The four Leaguers materialised in an open clearing overlooking Blüdhaven Bay.

'Uch. What is that smell?' Stargirl scrunched up her nose in disgust.

'I think that it's the water...' Captain Marvel replied, indicating the murky brown waters of the bay beyond them.

'Geez. Flash wasn't kidding when he called this place a wretched hive of scum and villainy.' Stargirl sighed.

'It makes Gotham seem full of sunshine and bunny rabbits.' Shayera nodded. 'Now, where is this contact of yours?'

'Right behind you.' A voice said announced from the shadows of the trees.

'I knew that...' Shayera's eyes darted about nervously. 'I was fully aware of your presence ever since we arrived here.'

Starfire fidgeted uncomfortably as a lithe figure somersaulted out of the tree. The figure was a thin, but muscular man with his long black hair tied into a ponytail. The man was wearing a black costume with a large blue bird shape emblazoned on the chest and shoulders.

'Nightwing, right?' Captain Marvel deduced. 'It is such an honour to help you protect Blüdhaven!' Captain Marvel held out his hand for a handshake. Nightwing blinked, unsure how to react to the sunny hero.

'Uh... thanks?' Nightwing smiled nervously, eventually shaking Captain Marvel's hand. The former protégé of the Dark Knight had never met anybody so... eager.

'So, what do we do first?' Shayera asked. 'I take it you're going to take the lead, seeing that you were trained by Batman and all.'

'Nothing of the sort.' Nightwing shook his head. 'You're the senior Leaguer, Shayera, so you're the one in charge.'

'Oh great, senior...' Shayera groaned. 'Now I feel old.'

Nightwing then turned to a nervous Starfire.

'I didn't know that you joined the League, Starfire. I thought you would have stayed on with the rest of the Titans.'

'Well, that shows you just how much you do not know me.' Starfire shot back rather sharply.

'Ouch.' Stargirl winced. 'I thought Catwoman was the only one with claws.'

'Shall we leave now?' Starfire ushered anybody onwards. 'Blüdhaven is not going to protect itself.'

The rest of the Leaguers watched as Starfire took off into the air. Shayera leant over to whisper to Nightwing.

'And why did you guys break up again...?'

**TBC...**

* * *

**Next: Brawl in Blüdhaven**

_The Leaguers team up with Nightwing to take down the Penguin and his enforcers. Who will end up sacrificing themselves to save a loved one? And just why did Starfire and Nightwing break up? Tune in next time to find out..._

* * *

**Author's Notes-**

**(1)- **_The Suicide squad took down Blockbuster's enforcers in '_Uncanny Suicide Squad'


	21. Brawl in Bludhaven

**Uncanny Justice League**

**Chapter 21: Brawl in Blüdhaven**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to DC._

* * *

**R-Man's Random Fact- **_I was once bitten on the backside by an earwig._

* * *

**Somewhere in Blüdhaven-**

High atop the rooftops of Gotham's sister city, Nightwing and the small group of Justice Leaguer's were keeping watch on a dingy-looking warehouse. Nightwing was knelt on a gargoyle watching people move in and out of the warehouse through his binoculars. Shayera was tapping her mace in her hand impatiently. Captain Marvel and Stargirl were sitting on a ledge, dangling their legs over the side. Starfire was hovering nearby, her arms crossed over her chest. The Tameranian princess wanted action.

'Must we wait so long?' The usually chipper Starfire grumbled. 'Just imagine what the Penguin could be up to while we waste our time sitting here.'

'I want to get in there and start smashing some heads as much as you do, Starfire...' Shayera told the orange-skinned alien in an attempt to calm her down. 'But we can't go off half-cocked. The Penguin's metahuman enforcers are dangerous. We don't want any civilians getting caught in the crossfire.'

'You can wait all you wish...' Starfire frowned. 'But I intend to kick the butt!'

Starfire flew off towards the warehouse without another word.

Nightwing reached out a hand in an effort to stop her.

'Kory... Wait!'

But it was too late, Starfire had already smashed her way into the warehouse.

* * *

**Several seconds earlier-**

Inside the dingy warehouse, the avian-obsessed villain known as the Penguin was overseeing an arms deal. A gang of gunrunners from Star City had just brought him some new produce. The Penguin's enforcers, the Atomic Skull, the Body Doubles, Killer Moth, and Copperhead all watched on, ready to make a move if the Star City guys tried to screw the Penguin over.

'Oh yes, these will do very nicely.' The Penguin nodded in appreciation. 'A Thanagarian plasma blaster. Left over from their ill-fated invasion several years ago, I presume?'

'Cut the crap, Penguin...' The boss of the Star City thugs, a bulky red-skinned dreadlocked man known only as Brick, grunted. 'Just gimmie the cash and I can get the hell out of this crap shack.'

'Oh, and I am sure that Star City is perfect.' The Penguin chuckled in response. 'But I must admit, I am anxious to get this deal over and done with. I cannot shake the feeling that I am being watched...'

The Penguin's suspicions were proven to be true as a golden skinned figure smashed their way through the wall.

'What the deuce?' The Penguin spluttered. 'You're not Batman or one of his ilk! Just who are you?'

'Starfire!' Killer Moth recognised the former Titan instantly.

'Ah, yes.' The Penguin nodded in realisation. 'The orange alien.' He then waved nonchalantly in her direction. 'Kill her.'

The Penguin's lackeys all pointed their weapons at Starfire.

Starfire didn't say anything as she piled right into the Penguin's enforcers, her Star Bolts flying.

Nightwing and the others made their way in to the warehouse through the hole in the wall that Starfire had just created.

'Egads!' The Penguin squawked. 'They're multiplying!'

'It's nice to see you too, Ozzy.' Nightwing retorted. 'Now, I don't suppose you're going to surrender like a good boy, are you?'

The Penguin reached for his umbrella and pulled out a sword.

'Thought not.' Nightwing sighed.

Nearby, the rest of the League were taking of the Penguin's lackeys.

Captain Marvel was trading blows with the Atomic Skull.

'You feeling tired yet, Cap?' The Atomic Skull sneered at the World's Mightiest Mortal. 'Cuz I could carry on all day!'

'The Stamina of Atlas makes sure that I will never tire!' Cap told the fiery skull-headed thug as he pushed him towards a wall, causing several cracks to appear.

'Yeah, but can you withstand an atomic blast at point-blank range?' The Atomic Skull grinned evilly as his hands began to glow bright green.

Captain Marvel shouted in surprise as he was sent crashing through the wall by a green atomic blast.

'Heh. You Marvels aren't all that.' The Atomic Skull snickered as he dusted off his hands and began to swagger away.

Unfortunately for the atomically-powered villain, Captain Marvel wasn't beaten that easily. The Big Red Cheese flew back in to the warehouse and smashed the Atomic Skull through the opposite wall.

'How...?' The Atomic Skull spluttered in confusion as he lay amongst wrecked bricks and masonry.

'Like I said...' Captain Marvel grinned victoriously. 'I have the Stamina of Atlas behind me.'

Back inside, Stargirl was taking on the scantily-clad assassins known as the Body Doubles.

'Didn't your mommy ever tell you that good girls shouldn't fight like that?' Carmen, the Latino one, chuckled as she wiped the blood from her chin after Stargirl dealt her a nasty kick to the face.

'I've never actually been one to listen to rules.' Stargirl remarked as she twirled her Cosmic Rod like a baton. 'Now, c'mon. Gimmie your best shot.'

'She did ask nicely.' Bonny, the blonde one, chuckled.

'It would be rude not to give her our best.' Carmen nodded in agreement.

'Well, I'm waiting...' Stargirl tapped her foot impatiently.

Carmen and Bonny both instantly pulled out twin pistols. God knows where they kept them. There was hardly anywhere for the Body Doubles to keep their weapons hidden on their person.

'It's such a pity that we have to ruin such a pretty face.' Carmen tutted.

'And it's such a pity that I'll have to ruin all that work that's been done on your face.' Stargirl retorted as she blasted Carmen right in the kisser with her Cosmic Rod.

'Carmen!' Bonny shrieked as her friend and teammate was sent crashing to the floor. 'I'll kill you for that, you little squirt!'

Bonnie opened fire at Stargirl. Fortunately, the star-spangled Leaguer easily deflected the onslaught of bullets with her Cosmic Rod.

'Aww, look at that...' Stargirl smirked. 'All out of bullets.'

'I'm never without a weapon.' Bonny stated as she pulled out what seemed to be some relatively harmless lipstick from her cleavage. 'With one twist, I can turn this harmless lipstick into a deadly laser!'

'What-_ever!_' Stargirl sighed as she klonked Bonnie on the head with her Cosmic Rod, knocking the blonde out straight away.

Elsewhere, Shayera was taking on Copperhead.

The heroine formerly known as Hawkgirl swung her mace about, aiming to smash Copperhead's skull in.

'Heh. You're getting slow, Hawkgirl.' Copperhead hissed cockily. 'I thought you were supposed to be some kind of fierce warrior!'

'And **I** thought you were supposed to be a great big pansy.' Shayera retorted as she swung her mace at the serpentine villain.

Copperhead tried to leap out of the way, but ended up getting clouted on the back of the head. Copperhead fell to the ground with a grunt.

'Well, that was barely worth the effort.' Shayera noted as she poked the unconscious Copperhead with her mace. 'I guess I _was_ right about thinking of him as a great big pansy.'

Elsewhere, Starfire was fighting Killer Moth.

'I must say how much of a pleasure it is to see you again, Starfire.' Killer Moth smirked evilly. 'Is Silkie well?'

'You keep Silkie out of this!' Starfire demanded, her eyes glowing bright green in anger. 'You treated him as nothing but a slave! As a way to further your crimes! Silkie is happy staying with me!'

'You'll have to excuse me if I don't get all warm and fuzzy about it.' Killer Moth retorted. 'Now, why don't you give up like a nice little alien girl, hmm?'

'I will _never _surrender!' Starfire growled angrily. 'Especially not to a _glotharg var-blurnelk_ like you!

'Very well.' Killer Moth nodded, as he flapped his wings in preparation for an attack. 'It pains me to do this. Well, not as much as it will pain you, of course.'

Killer Moth swooped towards Starfire, aiming to take her head off. But the alien princess easily avoided the attack and followed up with a Star Bolt to the back of Killer Moth's head.

'Damn.' Killer Moth grunted as he placed his hand on the back of his head. 'You singed my antennae!'

'I plan to do a lot more than singe you.' Starfire stated as her hands began to glow once more.

Killer Moth struggled to get up, but ended up being blasted in the face at near point-blank range with a Star Bolt.

'Hunh.' Starfire grunted as she landed on the ground. 'Humans are such fragile creatures.'

Finally, it was down to Nightwing to take on the main man, the Penguin!

While the Penguin was content in using his sword umbrella, Nightwing had his escrima sticks to defend himself.

'Oh, come now, Ozzy.' Nightwing snickered as he blocked another one of the Penguin's attacks. 'The way you're acting, people would think that you don't like me.'

'That is precisely the point, you vertiginous vigilante!' The Penguin snapped.

'This fight is getting boring.' Nightwing sighed as he kicked the Penguin's sword umbrella out of the villain's hand. 'Heh. Not so clever without your umbrellas, are you?'

'I am not without a back-up plan.' The Penguin smirked evilly as he put a hand into his coat and pulled out a gun.

'Now who is the clever one, you lethargic Leaguer?'

Starfire spun around at the sound of the gun cocking.

'Nightwing, no!'

_BLAM!_

Before Nightwing could even make a move to defend himself, Starfire knocked him out of the way, taking the bullet for him.

'_STARFIRE!_' Nightwing howled in horror. 'Kory, no!'

While Nightwing was distracted by the plight of his former teammate, the Penguin decided to make his getaway.

'I wouldn't do that if I were you, Mr Cobblepot.' Captain Marvel hovered in front of the Penguin, barring the villain's escape.

'You're going straight back into jail.' Stargirl pointed her Cosmic Rod at the villain.

'You'd better hope that Starfire isn't seriously injured...' Shayera tapped her mace in her hand. 'Or you'll be finding out just _how_ good I am at cracking heads with this thing...'

The Penguin's shoulders slumped in defeat.

'I would have gotten away with it too, if it was not for you accursed Justice Leaguers!'

* * *

**Justice League Watchtower, a short time later-**

Starfire was lying comfortably in one of the beds in the Watchtower's med bay. The bullet wound had barely scratched the alien princess, but she was still unconscious.

Nightwing was sitting beside Starfire, holding her hand. He had barely moved ever since he and the other Leaguers had teleported back from Blüdhaven. His masked eyes drooped tiredly and he slumped forward slightly, showing that he was about to fall asleep.

Nightwing jolted upright as he heard a moan emanate from Starfire's lips.

'Kory! You're okay!' Nightwing grinned happily.

'Yes... it would seem that way...' Starfire smiled weakly, still a little woozy form the painkillers. 'Is the Penguin...?'

'Alreayd in jail.' Nightwing answered. 'Although, with all the high-priced lawyers that Cobblepot's got, he'll most probably be out before the end of the week.'

'I will never be able to understand your system of justice.' Starfire shook her head. 'On my planet he would have been put to death by now.'

Nightwing cleared his throat nervously. He had a lot of things to say to Starfire, but he had yet to find the words.

'Starfire... Kory... There are lots of things that I need to say to you. About why I quit the Titans...'

'It is about the Batgirl, isn't it?' Starfire surmised. 'I already know that you are dating here.'

'Well, I _was_ dating her.' Nightwing nodded. 'But... we broke up.'

Starfire didn't even bother to hide her happiness at the news.

Nightwing either didn't notice Starfire's expression, or he didn't care.

'Ever since Batgirl and I broke up, I couldn't help but think of you, Kory...'

Nightwing reached in to his utility belt and pulled out a small black velvet box.

'I wanted to give this to you before I quit the Titans, but... we all know how that ended up.'

Starfire could barely believe her eyes as she saw Nightwing open the box to reveal a beautiful ring.

'Oh, Dick... Does this mean what I think it does?'

Nightwing went down on one knee and looked up at Starfire.

'Princess Koriand'r of Tameran, will you do me the honour of being my wife?'

Starfire grabbed Nightwing in one of her patented bone-breaking hugs.

'Oh, Dick! This is most joyous! Of course I will marry you! Nothing would make me happier!'

**TBC...**

* * *

**Next: Sinful**

_A party with the Justice League and Justice League International takes a nasty turn when the heroes are possessed by the Seven Deadly Sins._


	22. Sinful: Part 1

**Uncanny Justice League**

**Chapter 22: Sinful- Part 1**

**By**

**The Uncanny R-Man**

**Disclaimer- **_All familiar characters belong to DC Comics._

_

* * *

_

**Justice League Watchtower-**

It was a special day in the space station headquarters of the World's Greatest Heroes. The Justice League were throwing a party. It was the anniversary of the formation of the International branch of the League. It was first thought by those in the JLI that the formation of the team was little more than an excuse to get some of the League's more annoying members out of the way, but they had long since proved themselves as being more than equals to the more famous League.

'Wow, I can't believe that it's been this long since you guys kicked us out.' Blue Beetle grinned as he perused the catering table alongside Superman.

'Now Beetle, you know it wasn't anything like that…' Superman explained.

'Only kidding!' Blue Beetle laughed. 'If anything, this Justice League International thing is the best thing that ever happened to us. They love us in Britain!'

'Yeah! My merchandise is even outselling the Flash's poorly made junk!' Booster Gold grinned as he picked up a plate from the table.

'Hey! You take that back!' The Flash demanded as he dashed up to Booster Gold. 'It's been a slow fiscal year. Business hasn't been going too well.'

'What can I say?' Booster grinned. 'The British obviously have good taste.'

'At least people don't confuse me with Green Lantern.' The Flash countered. 'Also, who here is the Fastest Man Alive?'

'Booster, Flash, let's not argue, okay?' Superman chipped in. 'This party is to celebrate the formation of the international branch of the Justice League.'

'Oh wow, look at all this food!' Elongated Man rubbed his hands in glee when he walked up with his wife, Sue. 'Man, where do you _find_ all these caterers, Big Blue? Save them from earthquakes or something?'

'Ralph, try not to eat too much.' Sue warned her husband. 'You get indigestion real easily these days, remember?'

'Aww, pooh.' Elongated Man rolled his eyes, waving Sue away. 'I'm going to make a real pig out of myself tonight!'

'Don't say I didn't warn you…' Sue shook her head as her husband tucked in to all the food.

Elsewhere, Guy Gardner and Ice were talking to Green Lantern and Shayera.

'I'm telling ya John, this International League thing is the best that ever happened to us!' Gardner laughed. 'How else would we have moved outta your shadow and showed people who's the _real _greatest Green Lantern ever.'

'I think Hal Jordan would have something to say about that.' Green Lantern pointed out.

'Well, Hal ain't here, is he?' Guy pointed out with an arrogant grin.

'I seriously don't know what you see in him.' Shayera sighed. 'You seem like such a sweet person, Tora. Why date a jerk like Guy Gardner?'

'Oh, Guy isn't so bad.' Ice explained. 'He might act like a tough man most of the time, but he's a real sweetie at heart.'

'I guess.' Shayera shrugged. 'You must be the only person he cares about other than himself.'

Nearby, Wonder Woman was talking with Mary Marvel.

'Oh, I wish I was old enough to have children.' Mary Marvel gushed at the Amazing Amazon. 'Freddie and I have hardly even kissed, let alone… you know.'

'Giving birth to Cassandra was one of the most wonderful moments of my life.' Wonder Woman smiled. 'If a little painful.'

'What were the others?' Mary Marvel asked. 'Meeting Batman for the first time?'

'You seem to be rather interested in the love lives of others for such an innocent young woman.' Wonder Woman stated.

'I'm woefully naïve, not stupid.' Mary responded. 'I don't think that a magical stork brings babies or they're found under gooseberry bushes.'

At the corner of the room, Fire had accosted J'onn J'onnz by the drinks table.

'All I'm saying J'onn is that you must get lonely sometimes.' The Brazilian heroine explained. 'Don't you ever want a little… female company?'

'I find solitude to be quite adequate.' J'onn responded. 'Attachments can be distracting.'

'Wow. You must be channelling Batman or something.' Fire chuckled. 'You're not thinking of becoming a Dark Knight or anything, are you?'

'I merely prefer to spend my free time alone.' J'onn stated. 'I find meditation to be quite calming.'

'Would you change your mind for a cookie?' Fire smiled cheekily as she brandished the one thing that the Martian Manhunter was unable to refuse.

'Hmm. Perhaps.' J'onn smiled slightly. 'It is a pity that he have no milk. The experience of eating cookies is not complete without a glass of cold milk to wash it down.'

'Maybe later we could both go out for milk.' Fire suggested with a seductive wink. 'What do you say, J'onn? Is it a date?'

J'onn was about to answer when he was interrupted by Green Arrow.

'Aww, what's the point?' The Emerald Archer complained. 'Who cares? Big deal if this is the anniversary of some new team forming. Does anybody ever care about the little man? Not this bunch of fascists.'

'Ollie, just shut up and enjoy the party, will you?' Black Canary sighed heavily. 'At least occupy yourself with the food.'

'That's right, Arrow.' Captain Atom added. 'We don't need you spoiling the party with your woolly-headed liberal nonsense.' The Emerald Archer was about to retort angrily, but he was stopped by a certain Japanese super-genius.

'Now gentlemen, let us not argue.' Dr Light jumped in as she tried to calm any frayed tempers. 'This is a time for celebration, remember? So let us celebrate.'

* * *

**Elsewhere-**

Far away from the party, Batman was on monitor duty. The rest of the Justice League might have been enjoying the party, but crime never took any time off. The Dark Knight didn't even turn around when Ice walk in with a plateful of food in her hands.

'Hadn't you better get back to the party?' Batman asked as he studied the monitor screens in front of him. 'You will be missed.'

'I thought you might have wanted something to eat.' Ice smiled as she held out the plate. 'I made some of the sandwiches myself. The best British cheese with the crusts cut off.'

Batman smiled slightly. He could never say no to a nice piece of good quality British cheese.

_**BREE-BREE-BREE!**_

Batman looked up at the sound of the alarm. A large rock-like construction had appeared above Star City. Also, there seemed to be some sort of riot going on in Fawcett City.

'The Rock of Eternity.' Batman recognised the giant floating rock instantly. 'It's the source of Captain Marvel's power.'

'As well as Mary Marvel and the rest of the Marvel Family.' Ice reminded him. 'But what is it doing hovering above Washington?'

'We'll have to split up.' Batman explained. 'I'll head to Star City to check out the situation with the Rock of Eternity. The other team will have to stop the riot in Fawcett City.'

Ice simply nodded in understanding and headed off to fill in the rest of the Justice Leaguers.

**TBC…**

* * *

**Next: Sinful- Part 2**

_Why has the Rock of Eternity appeared above Star City? Does it have anything to do with the riots in Fawcett City? Tune in next time to find out…_


End file.
